Month: August 2020

The passing of the torch moment

Hello and good morning my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards, flag bearer of all beards. I pray you’re well and looking after yourselves, but more importantly looking after your beards!

My Bearded brothers, it’s been with great privilege and honour that I can say I am your Bearded Captain, your Bearded Leader. I might not mention it too much, but as much as I lead you beards over social media and all digital media, I am also following a lead too.

That lead I am following is that of The Bearded General, Daddy Malik (aka Daddy Beard). Now, his bearded eminence The Bearded General, The Commander and Chief is a superior above a superior.

Now, it might be hard to believe, brothers that I need to be lead, but there are two figures that are above me in rank. The Bearded Alpha, Mr Ahmed Talib Rashid and of course The Bearded General Daddy Malik.

As much as The Alpha has been a priceless mentor, teacher and someone to help your Captain in his Bearded adolescence, it’s the story of The General of Beards who this story refers to.

Brothers, my dad, of course, is my mentor in life, but he is most certainly in my Bearded life too. He is the one who gives my beard the thorough inspection after I have been to The Bearded Barbers.

“It’s not level” or “It’s not cut properly below the chin and above the Adam’s apple” are just some of the criterion The General looks for when he wants to see his son and now air to The Bearded Throne.

For the loyal readers of my blog (thank you for that), you will know that I make mention of the deceased leader of Cuba Fidel Castro. Now, don’t get me wrong here guys I am not going to make any political statements here, (we don’t do that here, we try to make the people laugh and smile).

My dad would liken me to Fidel, now when he first said this I thought, maybe because I am an excellent leader in his eyes, someone who has an aura about him … nope, it was none of that! It was due to my beard being messy!

The General would never mince his words and would always give me tough Bearded Love, but when my dad came to me for advice it was a passing of the torch moment. It was Bearded advice.

So it went like this;

“Son do you have anything for there bottom of my beard underneath my chin’? At this point was so humbled and I beamed and couldn’t stop smiling. The advice didn’t stop there, my dad even took one of my beard combs too, felt like a very happy beard indeed!

On that happy note, it’s over and out from The Bearded Captain. Stay blessed, stay beard!

Here is my very first podcast, hope you like it!; https://anchor.fm/thebeardedcaptain/episodes/The-Bearded-Captain-here-to-introduce-myself-egup2k

If you want to help support project bearded captain/ the sports buff and help me grow, visit the following link; http://www.patreon.com/thebeardedcaptain1

Thank you

Signs of psycho (satire)

Hello, and greetings my bearded soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag-bearer of all beards. I pray you’re all well, and in the process of growing your beards. 

My Bearded brothers, I want to talk about an issue, that is worthy of mentioning. This my brothers, isn’t bearded topic as such, but it’s most definitely needed to be mentioned. The topic is the signs of a psychopath. 

On face value, you might think I am bringing late nights Real TV, to my blog this isn’t the case. All be it tongue in cheek, and attempted humour in this blog, I still want to mention these kinds of people, because they need a mention. 

To put this out there, this isn’t a Kyle bashing blog, nor a Karen bashing blog either. My bearded beloved’s, the kind of people you need to be careful of due to their “psycho” way are these who don’t eat their kitKat four fingers one by one. 

These people, eat their Kitkat’s like a snickers bar, meaning all four fingers are half-eaten! Those people are bad, but then you get the people who put three spoons of sugar in their tea/coffee. 

If you’re that bothered about sugar, then open a coca-cola bottle and put that in your kettle! There is hot Vimto, so maybe someone could start a hot coca-cola. on the sounds of it, that doesn’t sound very appealing, but I can imagine some will do this. 

If I tell you brothers, there are some people who consciously get a class of milk and mix coca-cola in it, yuck! I am not an alcohol drinker myself, but it looks like Bailey’s. I have tasted it, in my naivety and it’s repugnant, to put it mildly. 

I can’t help but think, the people who do any of these things, if not all of them, are the same people who wear white trainers with a suit, or who wear white sport sock! An absolute no-no!  

So there you have it, my brothers, here is some example of people, who can only really be described as psychopaths, due to some of the choices they make in life. 

It’s over and out from your Bearded Captain, stay blessed stay beard!

Here is my very first podcast, hope you like it!; https://anchor.fm/thebeardedcaptain/episodes/The-Bearded-Captain-here-to-introduce-myself-egup2k If you want to help support project bearded captain/ the sports buff and help me grow, visit the following link; http://www.patreon.com/thebeardedcaptain1 Thank you

The decorative beard

Hello and good morning my bearded soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag-bearer of all beards. My bearded brothers, I pray you’re well and looking after yourselves and your beard!

My bearded brothers, project Bearded Captain is blossoming quite nicely. 

There is the blogs, which we’re doing here, the vlogs, which can be found here; https://www.smartlightpeople.com//watch/the-story-of-how-i-grew-my-beard_azGpf68oTpmC3SB.html.

As well, as that there is the podcast which is available on the majority of Podcast platforms (which includes Pocket Cast and Spotify amongst others). A massive thanks goes to the one, who gave me my beard.

Now brothers, what I want to talk about today though, is the issue of the “decorative beard”. This is an issue, that won’t get spoken about too much, but it’s still necessary to mention this.

This topic is as literal as it sounds, it’s a beard that’s well decorated. Now, brothers, in my infancy of beard life, I had a lack of knowledge on this issue. Someone, in my work, asked;

“will you put baubles on your beard”. Upon hearing this, I thought to myself, I have never heard such a ridiculous suggestion. To me, it’s like a man wearing a headband, which is fittingly called an “Alice band”, note it’s not an Alistair band (the clue is in the detail).

Upon further investigation, I found out that beard baubles are available as well as beard clips. Brothers, if grown correctly your beard is the decorative piece of your face.

Why some have found the need, to find a product that’s not needed (beard baubles) is beyond me, it really is. The beard baubles, like the masks we were in this day and age, instead of helping the beard blossom, it, in fact, does the exact opposite!

WWE wrestler Seamus is the first person I think of when the topic of decorative beard is mentioned. The beard that he had, is the entry-level of beard.

The sides of his beard cheeks, platted may look cool, it’s far from it. Brothers, this is beard abuse. We take good care to groom and nurture our beards, baubles are to be put on a Christmas tree.

A Christmas tree is of course where the gifts are stored and the face gift is where the beard is stored. Brothers, I was gifted a beard bauble set and I have worn the bearded baubles, it made the clean-shaven laugh and smile.

Everything I said still applies to the bearded baubles, but to make the clean-shaven smile is also your purpose in life, even if they make their own faces unhappy by shaving.

It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain, stay blessed stay beard!

Here is my very first podcast, hope you like it!; https://anchor.fm/thebeardedcaptain/episodes/The-Bearded-Captain-here-to-introduce-myself-egup2k

If you want to help support project bearded captain/ the sports buff and help me grow, visit the following link; http://www.patreon.com/thebeardedcaptain1

Thank you