The things you do when you can’t sleep

Hello, good morning my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me The Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag bearer of all beards on digital and digital broadcasting media. I am the beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that beard who tries to make people smile.

My Bearded Brothers, I am back on my blog with a topic that’s in need of being talked about. It’s the issue of the things you do when you can’t sleep. Sleep is one of the best feelings known to man … or woman.

Head back, laid back on the bend and give it a few minutes, some sleeping music or listening to your favourite audio through your noise cancelling headphones and wala you’re in the land of nod. But what about the times you can’t sleep?

That my brothers is one of the most annoying things to happen to any human being. The tossing, the turning and tossing some more, but you can’t sleep. So what do you do? Well my Bearded Soldiers. your Bearded Leader is here with some pearls of wisdom.

Based on true events, I have had nights where I have not been able to sleep. Now, let’s not forget everyone is their own person. But Brothers, try as strange as it is, have a snack like a tub of pringles kind if thing or watch a tv drama (but not a scary one hehe).

Maybe even find a good Youtube video series (mine is football daily’s three channels). If that doesn’t work, read a book (not facebook necessarily) a novel for example. Or if you like me, maybe when you can’t sleep write a blog about you not being able to sleep.

The least popular suggestion, I admit out of my list of suggestions, is doing exercise. Doing exercise or eating food? Well one you have to work hard in (the exercise) and the other you do without thinking the food.

Natural instincts dictates that one would be more inclined to eat something, but try it exercise works. To conclude, to reduce days of not being able to sleep is all down to the structure during the day.

If that’s in order, keep counting them sheep! It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain!

Hello and good morning my bearded soldiers, here I talk about what can be done when you can’t sleep

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Some subliminal prejudices against women?

Hello and good morning, here I Ayyaz Malik aka The Bearded Captain talk about an important issue. It’s one for the ladies, have watch here;

The no shave foam affect

Hello and good morning my Bearded Brothers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and trend setter of all beards on digital and digital broadcasting media. I am that beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that beard who tries to make people smile.

Brothers, it’s been a while I know, and I am sorry. Like I have said before, I will say again, my beloved’s I have not forgot you! I promise you I am here, leading the ship and being The Captain of that ship, as you so desire. My beloved’s, I have been working on things away from the blog.

This is a challenge brothers, no matter whatever the task, I don’t leave you guys for too long. It might not seem, but I really start to miss you guys! Brothers, let’s talk it’s about an important issue. It’s the issue of a shave foam.

Yes, Bearded Soldiers, it’s chemicals we don’t put on our face, as we don’t plan to look like women (be clean shaven). What I want to talk about here though guys, is that I have gone on record and said use the foam (the bit that you have left from shaving your head), on your beard.

I argued it’s fragranced and will help the beard. As I am still a leader who is learning on the job, this has emerged to be not true. Instead of helping your face trophy, it has been hindering. Brothers, The Captain’s top tip … don’t put shave foam on your beard.

My soldiers, it makes your beard hard. The beauty of the beard is that it needs to be soft. On that note, it’s over and out from your Bearded Captain.

The signs of Summer

Hello and greetings, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader and flag bearer of all beards on digital and digital broadcasting media, I am that beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that beard who tries to make people smile. My brothers I pray you’re all well, in good health and looking after your beards. Brothers, before I talk about the issue I want to talk about, want to say that good news Christian Eriksen is awake, talking and in a stable condition.

That is very good news indeed. Brothers, I have been quietly chipping away with my work of being a sports journalist. That has one place in my heart and does this journey here brothers, speaking and addressing you guys too. I have always said leadership isn’t for everyone, it can make or break a person. I do digress, let’s talk about the issue at hand. I want to talk about the summer and the things we do only in summer.

Brothers, it’s a fact that when the sun is out, people smile more and there’s a real buzz where ever you go. In the sun, out goes the jumper the thick coats and in comes the t-shirts, the short sleeve shirts or the one’s who try to immitate the famous TV character Rambo by wearing muscle vests. That would be ok, if you looked like Bruce Willis in Die Hard, but a lot of the people look like the guy from the Mr Muscle advert.

Another thing alongside the t-shirts and lighter clothing is the end of jeans (full lengthed for some) and the introduction of shorts solely for this period. There are some people who solely wear shorts all year round, I can only assume they’re people from the North East. Nothing wrong with the Newcastle, Dhurham, South Shiels and Sunderland lot, but it’s only around this part of the UK have seen people bearing a bear chest in close to minus tempratures, that is cult hero status. To pull the shorts off, you don’t necessarily have to have legs of Rafa Nadal, but please don’t be one of those who wears shorts in freezing tempratures.

In winter, arguably you’re feeding yourself to keep warm etc. In Summer you struggle to eat food due to the heat, you lose your appetite. If you’re like me however, one dish you do enjoy is BBQ food. There are some shops who sell BBQ food all year round, this isn’t allowed it’s cheating! BBQ food is a novelty, selling it all year ruins that. How society acts in regards to Christmas, it’s a novelty but If that was every day, would there be any enjoyment left? Nope.

Then you get to bed time or just relaxing inside. Windows will have to be opened otherwise, it’s like sitting in a sauna. A mention also must be made when it comes to bed time. Blanket on off, or off or on? It’s like a game of twister but lying down on your bed.

The hotside of the pillow, then the cold side and then that cold side turns into the hotside and the hotside turns into the cold side and the cycle goes on! Let’s not forget to mention the windows open full blast.

On that point of windows opening full blast, when it comes to Winter, it’s an all mighty sprint to get to the windows and close when there’s a massive downpour of rain. The rain goes all over the windowsill, and in my case on my desk!

Talking of water, it has to be mentioned, that when you find yourself wanting to shave your head and not have hair, know that summer is upon us. What about when you almost live in the shower. A nightmare for the water bill, but times like this that United Utilities dream about.

So there are my signs of the summer, have I missed any out? Let me know in the comments.