Dixy Chicken

The theory proved wrong?

Hello, and Greetings my bearded soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag-bearer of all beards. I am that beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that beard who tries to make people smile.

Brothers, I hope you’re well, looking after yourselves and also looking after your beards. My Bearded Soldiers this is a lockdown we’re in, so I hope you’re looking after yourselves. Please feel free to contact me, if you feel you need to in these times if you want to Skype, Whatsapp or communicate in any other way you see fit.

Now, my brothers I am sure you remember my passionate blog post about being loyal to one takeaway and not ruining takeaway night with a ‘dead lemon’ (going to take away that doesn’t meet your expectations).

If you don’t, here is the link of that article https://ayyazmalik.com/2021/01/14/the-takeaway-theory/.

This evening brothers, I have fallen in love (look away now Mrs Malik hehe), but her name is New York Crispy.

She lives on Wilmslow Road’s Curry Mile! Ok, enough sarcasm, for now. My Beloved’s, tonight, treating the experience like a ‘free hit’, I went to one of the best chicken takeaway shops in Manchester, for the very first time.

This wasn’t my opinion, as I hadn’t tried it, but it is now! Double chicken burger, red salted chips and a very generous serving of curry sauce all over the burger, made for a delicious textured burger.

For my taste buds, the curry sauce was spicy, but not too much that it would burn my lip.

As I devoured the burger, bite by bite my pallet was just left in awe of such wonderful tasting beauty in the mouth.

Service was excellent and in no time I could set my eyes on this burger beauty , the burger bun was nice and soft too.

The chicken breast was succulent and thankfully not tasting processed as I have tasted in other takeaways that they sell chicken.

I have been to some takeaways, where I could swear blind, the chicken hasn’t been cooked properly.

New York and their chicken though, no such problems and the chicken was nice and crunchy too.

Long I have been someone who was vocal about not trying a new takeaway and if you do and it’s not nice don’t give them a second chance.

This rule I had almost lived and died by it, but sometimes in life, you need to break the rules lol. With New York Crispy, I broke a rule by trying a new takeaway , what a wonderful tasting meal it was!

For me, the two best burger places are Philadelphia and Miami, but New York needs to enter into the conversation of the best burger places in Manchester.

That was an excellent showing this evening guys. No doubt see you again soon! It’s over and out from The Captain.

Dixy Chicken Wythenshawe review

In what has felt like months, finally Dixy Wythenshawe is open! Dixy is what I see as one of the best take away chicken burger chains in Manchester, if not the best!

The reason for the delay for Dixy Wythenshawe not opening , has been down to Covid19 and the lockdown of course, but has the wait been worth it? I will discuss dear reader. So who am I? Well, avid reader you know that I am Ayyaz Malik, writer and blogger, but what you don’t know maybe is that I am a massive fan of Dixy’s.

The South Manchester branches have increased in recent years. There was Chorlton, Fallowfield and Longsight, but since there has been additional branches added in Rusholme (Curry Mile), Sale, Whalley Range, Burnage (no longer) and Stretford.

Whalley Range and Stretford ( both are on my to eat list), I have tried all of the Dixy branches in that region (England U.K region) . My waist line, supports this.

So, when I go to Dixy, what I order is my signature. Three mini burgers and a pepsi can, when I am not with my brother and a mega mix chicken burger meal, when I am with my stunt double (my twin).

What will I be judging Dixy Wythenshawe by here? A few factors, time taken for order, quality of bun and quality of chicken (taste and texture). With this branch of Dixy chicken, the mini burger was brilliant!

Going to this branch, I was a bit apprehensive going to this branch and trying this burger, due to the high standards I have tasted of the mini burger.

The other bits on the menu I have checked is the mega mix burger meal and also the double charger burger meal.

The mega mix, is chicken fillet, with two mini fillets on top. To compliment the burger, there’s lettuce and some mayonnaise to further compliment the burger.

I am delighted to say that the mini burger (the hot dog shaped burger) was soft and not toasted. I have tasted the mini burger and the burger itself, being toasted.

That, in my humble opinion ruins the taste! As for the chicken, it was crispy, succulent and seasoned nicely too. I have tasted chicken being too crispy, hard and rugged. My teeth, are having a wrestling match with the chicken.

Thankfully, the double charger burger was also well cooked and the chicken was across the board, of an excellent high standard.

If there was a slight criticism, the time taken for the burger was a bit long, but at the same time I won’t complain too much because, this branch is newly opened and second, the quality of the chicken was brilliant. One last thing, to maybe nitpick somewhat, but for me the burger box needs to be Dixy branded, but I also concede at the same time, I am being over the top.

So, there you go my review of Dixy Chicken Wythenshawe. A good experience, with well-made burgers (the bun) and with succulent, crispy, succulent and seasoned nicely too. More of the same please guys, see you soon!

The snacks theory discussed

Hello and good evening my Bearded Soldiers, It’s me your Bearded Captain, Leader and flag bearer of all beards of all beards on digital and digital broadcasting media.

I am that beard who tries to make people laugh, and I am that beard who tries to make people smile..

My bearded beloved’s, I want to discuss an important issue, which is linked to one of the previous blog posts we spoke about.

The second to last blog post, was talking about the issue of having space for dessert. In this blog post, after having the discussion with Mrs Captain, I put it to you lovely folk.

Is snacking (eating walkers crisps for example) possible to do alongside having a mains? So what I mean is this brothers, yours truly loves his food. I know that’s well known, especially how much I harp on about food (Dixy’s to be precise).

So the reason why I put this into this blog post, is because this question and scenario happened today. That made me think, there’s no one better to help me with this one, than my Bearded Soldiers.

Let me know what you think in the comments. It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.

So, is there always space for dessert?

Hello and greetings my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag bearers of all beards on digital and digital broadcasting media. I am that beard who tries to make people laugh, and I am that beard who tries to make people smile.

My beloved brothers, I want to and need to talk about an important topic, that’s in turn caused quite a discussion. That brothers,is the issue of “is there always space for dessert?”. In short, yes there is (it’s been scientifically proven).

But with such a debate, the full side of the argument needs to be heard. One side of the argument, is that enjoy your starters and mains, and leave that as that. There’s a time for desserts, but that’s a bit more of on a special occasion.

The other side of the argument, is that a dessert is the perfect was to sign off a delicious meal. For example, you can not go into Nawabs, enjoy their starters and mains, and not sign the meal off with a dessert. That’s the headline performance for the evening (the desserts counter).

I am too full, just doesn’t cut it. If somehow (although it’s in the mindset) you are legitimately too full, then you need to change your strategy. It’s an unwritten rule, you can not have starters and mains only. in many Eastern cultures and traditions, a dessert is always served after dinner time.

The dessert is seen as almost a limb of the dinner, they are connected to each other. As much, as I love desserts, my beards it’s not possible to solely have a dessert mains course. What I mean, is that you have to have a mains course and a dessert, not just the dessert.

As savoury as a dessert is, that’s directing yourself to diabetes avenue if you have a dessert on your own. Brothers, honor your beards, the way they deserve to be honoured. My soldiers, be consistent in your cause for the love of beard.

Brothers, be dedicated in showing good love to the dessert, which includes chocolate cake and all the other cakes out there. It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain, stay blessed stay beard!

If she doesn’t do this She’s not for you bro (with a dose of satire)

Hello, and greetings my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards, flag bearer of all beards on digital and digital media.

I am that beard who tries to make people laugh, and I am that beard who tries to make people smile. My brothers, my beloved’s I hope you’re well and looking after yourselves, and most importantly looking after your beards!

Brothers, as you know we discuss many topics on here, from beards, beard humour, dad jokes, comedy sketches, sports round up and sports satire but today’s issue is slightly different.

Brothers, in this video I want to discuss some criterion you should look for when looking for a partner or even spouse. Long story short, I will also say that, a woman who’s kind, caring, patient and loyal as some of the traits needed for a good woman.

A woman who stands by you grows with you and helps you rise to the top when you were at the bottom, again are all credible things to look for in a woman.

The religious, aspect will say look for four things, (wealthy, beauty, status and religious) I won’t contradict this brothers, but I want to break this down for the beard life aspect. Brothers, a good woman will encourage you to grow your beard.

Some women say they like their men clean-shaven … if you wanted to be with a woman, then be with a woman!

The 21st century is a very accepting world. The dream women will need to inspire you (in your goals), your dreams. She will keep also keep you firm in your quest for chicken excellence.

The wrong women will get you eating beef burgers! …. *takes deep breaths*.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with beef burgers, but the right women will know chicken burgers conquers all!

Thankfully Mrs Captain is now well versed in this regard. She asked, but then knew the answer in this scenario that I will tell you about now.

So, the opportunity arose for me to have chicken for lunch, but it was already agreed as it were that it was chicken for dinner. So I had eggs (part of the chicken) for breakfast, with chicken poppers for lunch and then it was a chicken fillet burger for dinner.

Mrs Captain, understood the value of chicken in my life, must also state that whenever we do go out, she craves Dixy’s mini burgers or KFC.

That’s a keeper right there! As you guys know, I love to be tongue and cheek with my blogs.

Brothers, a good woman is one of the most precious things in life, now also must be stated that you as beard are defined by excellence.

What this means is that, you treat your beards with love, care and patience … a woman needs a similar kind of love. A good woman will see you for your strengths and weaknesses, she will be there in the sunshine and in the rain too.

She will wipe your face down when it’s raining. Brothers, we doing that for our women, it’s natural it’s why we grew the beard. It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.

The people who you can’t trust (Satire)

Hello, good morning my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain (Leader of all beards, flag bearer of all beards on digital media). My beards, I want to stand to salute you all first of all.

You’re a credit to yourselves and your face. My brothers (non-keyworkers) you have had to overcome the “you need to shave your face, because of the coronavirus – and they say being bearded” can cause the spread of infection.

Your Captain has had this experience to deal with too. So how you deal with it? Well, I always advise to not go fire with fire, never really solves anything. So the scenario unfolded like so.

Them; “Yaz (The Bearded Captain), you will have to shave your beard because of what Dr’s are saying about coronavirus”.
Me; “Yeah, I know (Won’t insert her name here), I heard this on the news as well. If this ever becomes the case, that my beard is a problem in the workplace due to COVID, then I will self isolate”.

Game, set and match. There are our fallen heroes who are health care professionals and have had to lose their face shield, but in my case, I am not in health care … so no, I won’t give up my pride and joy for the sake of it.

There are respectively bigger challenges that a beard will need to face like the challenges of the summer. so without too much further ado, of course, someone who betrays their beard isn’t trustworthy, but let me give you some more examples.

Biscuit dippers …. biscuits aren’t there to be subjected to suicide dives into someone’s cup! The chocolate digestives are the flag bearers of biscuit.

It’s a unique name, shares similar traits to Pritt stick, blue tack and sellotape – what I mean by this whichever company makes it and even if their company calls it one, we the public will universally know it as that.

So, for example, Pritt stick will always be known as that whichever company makes it, so to subject the biscuit to such mindless abuse is, sweet snacks abuse!

Then you have the people who put the hot water in before making the coffee, what kind of evil sorcery is this? I can’t help but imagine you’re the very same kind of people who eat KitKat four fingers in the same way, you eat other chocolates.

What I mean, is that instead of eating the Nation’s favourite chocolate that you have on your first break with a cuppa, the normal way …. some of you eat the Kitkat with two half fingers ate.

I have to put the question, are the people who would spell your name, Sean, instead of Shaun? the first example surely spells seen, right? Unfortunately, there is women’s name spelt in the same unusual way.

Siobhan, is actually pronounced Shivorn? Siobhan spells C-O-Ban! So, as you can see these are several examples of the untrustworthy ones. We can’t forget to mention, the ones who wear socks when going to bed.

I am ashamed to admit this, I was one who was upon this treacherous way of thinking. Thankfully sense prevailed. Last but not least, another example of an “untrustworthy person”, is when they get a chicken burger meal, they finish their burger first and leave the chips.

A real crime, to burger meals and how they should be eaten. Chips first then the burger or you mix the two … but you do not! finish burger first. A bit of satire (attempted there) t try and cheer you up.

On that note my beards, I will now love you and leave you… it’s over and out from The Bearded Captain!

The Bearded Captain’s Tribute To Shelby, AKA Shelbs

The Captain At BMT

The Captain is still here, worry not my soldiers. I am alive and kicking, ready to portray The Bearded Message more than ever. This one goes out to Shelby

 

The name Shelby Sheridan, might not mean much to the vast majority of you lovely readers, but to myself and many more in the Dyno world, here is an example of the biggest nut job going. Quite a strong statement I here you say, but please let me explain this is Shelby who thinks that in Ramadan, Muslims go up on the roof to spot the moon (don’t ask she’s “special”).

Now, why am I doing this blog post when I could write about  more fun things, like my facial hair, my aftershaves, how I am banging and clanging and my love of Dixy chicken. If I tell you this is the same Shelby who has the ability to make the evil look to make you turd your pants and the one who broke her brothers fingers … come on can you blame me?

 Schizophrenic and more swings of her mood more than my local park , Shelbz is quite infectious in terms of her character . An avid reader of my blog and an avid follower of the bearded movement, there’s a method to her madness after all.  

 A mention is necessary of Shelby is necessary (hope it won’t inflate her ego), because this is the same Shelby who just simply said Ayyaz, don’t worry about any backlash from Manchester attacks because we as Dyno colleagues will support you. This is the same Shelby who makes it a point to give me The Bearded salute whenever I pass her in work.

 

Small things you might think, but this is Shelby Sheridan who said she will track me down if I don’t give up junk food for a month …. she isn’t as big as me but o God, don’t get on the wrong side of her * has a big gulp*. Yes, she is cookoo … Justin Beiber’s Despicto, heard of that? Well, now there’s a remix of that called would you like a Dorito? Don’t ask …

So to sum this up, Shelby is hilarious with the stuff she comes out with knowingly and unknowingly , but the underline thing is, she is one of the most loyal people you will ever meet. This one’s for you Shelby, you nutter!

PS, this particular post would have been up much sooner, but as I do value my own health …. and safety, I decided to check and check again with her. But I am sure it’s still not to standard, but it’s still getting put up on my blog.

Lessons in life, death is certain taxes are certain getting beaten up by Shelby Sheridan is also a certain if you get on the wrong side of her.

The Bearded Captain; Don’t Dye Your Beard In Any Colour Except Ginger!

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Hello and greetings from The Bearded Captain. My soldiers, be proud of the colour of your beard and let nature take its path 🙂

 

Hello and greetings from your Bearded Captain. I pray that all my soldiers are well, in good health and in the process of growing beards! Before I get my teeth into today’s subject, I just want to say thank you for you guys being such wonderful soldiers and as your Bearded Captain, I am really honoured to be leading you guys.

Ok, mushy stuff out of the way, so the issue at hand then. The issue which I would like to raise today is this, the issue of the dying of the beard. Now, I know what you’re thinking but please hear me out, this issue does have some relevance, you’re going to have to take my word on that.

Now, the dying of hair is a topic that people might take lightly if they do no biggie, but as I have said before our beards are unique and this isn’t merely just “another issue”. As I have said time and time again, our beard’s are unique because when maintained correctly, they look magnificent!

Of course my bearded brothers, you already know that. So with that in mind, the need to preserve one’s beard is extremely necessary.  Yes, we have talked about combing and perfuming the beard, but I just feel this issue of the beard dye hasn’t been touched upon and it needs to be.

When someone dyes their hair, they use different colours, but when it comes to the beard let’s make this clear don’t dye it. Why I hear you ask? The reason is simple a beard grows naturally, so allow nature to take it’s path, the same applies to your natural beard hair colour too.

Blonde beard, green beard or blue beard just isn’t a good luck, but ginger is I have natural ginger strands in my beard hehe. Do I really need to explain why not dye your beard in any other colours except ginger? Let’s just say this if I do need to explain,  it makes me wonder are you seriously listening to your Bearded Captain and his advice?  …. You might have to take a long hard look at yourself O Bearded One.

The sharp-minded one’s amongst you will be thinking what about when I get older and my beard turns grey what do I do? Well after studying this particular topic long and hard as I devoured a Dixy burger ( bearded man’s best friend if you like), it came to my attention that it’s absolutely not allowed to dye a grey beard back to your natural hair colour. I hope that makes sense.

When the time comes for your beard to fully mature and turn grey, embrace the fact that it’s happened to you and that you have been chosen by the one who gave you your man fur in the first place.

If you hide your natural beard hair colour to the people, a question I would ask is are you hiding other stuff, are you truthful beard. I mean if it came to it, would you share your last piece of chicken with me? (yes I would share it with a bearded brother in case you’re wondering).

I will close on this point brothers, a beard is a thing of beauty. For some of you, you will live long enough for your beard to grow grey, that’s not a bad thing far from it …. embrace it, brothers! A grey beard shows wisdom and the right person will respect you for it, if they don’t you’re around the wrong people.

It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.

 

Dixy (The Best A Man Can Get)

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DISCLAIMAER; This image, is not suitable to be viewed by “little boys”.

For a man with a beard and someone who really takes pride in his facial hair, naturally, I will rebuke the “slogan” “Gillette, the best a man can get”. Not only is the phrase non-sensical, it’s “not true”.

Now why I say this is simple, I say this because with the greatest respect (my blog is my own opinion I must add as well),but come on guys a guy who doesn’t have a beard doesn’t look too dissimilar to a woman,well in the case of some men anyway.

Yes, there’s men like Christiano Ronaldo, who some see as the ultimate man, but anyway back to my original point. Nature intended for a man to let his beard grow, global corporations brought in the razor blade…. fact!

For the men amongst us, like myself I am sure you are not “too fussy”. Well, I know I am not anyway. I am a guy who has a shaved head and a beard and always like to dress, smart casual.

Yes, these days I have slightly changed that (my fashion sense) with the purchase of my trilby (my pride and joy) but one thing that hasn’t changed is my love for the chicken burger. The chicken burger is arguably the best gift to mankind.

Why do I say such a thing? Well, the reason is simple soft bread with the most succulent pieces of chicken sandwiched in between, is one of the best to come on planet earth.

The chicken burger has many “imitations”. Chicken Cottage, Chunky Chicken, KFC or Kansas are decent burgers, but boys take a step back and make way for the “true king” in the chicken burger department … Dixy Chicken!

With a waistline which proves my knowledge of the chicken burger, arguably I am a historian in the field. I  also call myself a connoisseur in the field or as the cool kids call it burger fiend.

Whereas some settle for burger mediocrity, me sir ….. no way! You are not pulling the wool over my eyes. Let’s all take a minute and give Dixy a standing salute *literally stands up and salutes*.

Why such overboard praise I hear you say, let me tell you the story of how my love affair with that fine piece of meat started. I was young, slim and recently  became single at the time.

Sad at this fact, I turned to my local Dixy Chicken in Chorlton Manchester,for comfort. I had spent  a week long “dedicated mission” of having burgers from a burgerland  called Hardys and from the farm of McDonaldsville where meaty chicken burgers were served.

This holy land of burgers (Ajman) was crucial in my early struggle of my study of the Chicken burger.

“She” ( the mega mix burger meal)  was caring and very welcoming as I took my quest and resarch to “Dixyville.I opened her box, The moment was special, even if there were pervs looking at mine and the chicken burgers unadulterated love.

Mega Mix, just made me want more. It was “her” beautiful texture of chicken meat that had my heart racing. I felt like a teenager seeing his first crush all over again. Dixy was obviously happy to see me too, “she” really made an effort for me. If that’s not love I don’t know what is, there were no complications.

No small talk was needed, just pure me eating “her baps” and enjoying the mayo that was wrapped in the burger. Now for the perfect burger, one must have it at the right temperature, it’s only fitting for such.

Not too crunchy and not too salty, the boys at Dixy deserve some epic high fives. That isn’t all that makes their chicken as Magnifique as it is. For good chicken, it has to be the right colour as well.

Too greasy and too “masala” like are an absolute no-no. Devouring the taste of the burger on your fingers is one thing, but to have the masala run over your fingers is absolutely another and a big red flag!

You’re probably thinking, this doesn’t prove (my study). But this is a scientific study, that isn’t based on logic, facts or even stats. The equation is simple, megamix burger, plus a portion of chips and cup of Pepsi = a very happy young man indeed.

As this is a delicate study and will  arguably take years to fully understand it’s magnificence, I will be “self-sacrificing myself” to carry on with my goal of studying the chicken burger universe and eating more when I can.

All that is left now is for a grant from a top university, to aid me in my “selfless work” of the study of the chicken burger. Guys someone has got to do it and yours truly Mr Bearded Prince (Professor Dixy Chicken Lover)  will “sacrifice” himself xx.

PS, a special mention must go to Roosters in Altrincham, but sorry fellas you are no Dixy Chicken Chorlton. My selfless burger eating research is an ongoing struggle, but I am willing to “take one for the team”.

No, I insist it’s ok guys, really it’s ok.