Dixy Chicken

The Bearded Captain’s Tribute To Shelby, AKA Shelbs

The Captain At BMT

The Captain is still here, worry not my soldiers. I am alive and kicking, ready to portray The Bearded Message more than ever. This one goes out to Shelby

 

The name Shelby Sheridan, might not mean much to the vast majority of you lovely readers, but to myself and many more in the Dyno world, here is an example of the biggest nut job going. Quite a strong statement I here you say, but please let me explain this is Shelby who thinks that in Ramadan, Muslims go up on the roof to spot the moon (don’t ask she’s “special”).

Now, why am I doing this blog post when I could write about  more fun things, like my facial hair, my aftershaves, how I am banging and clanging and my love of Dixy chicken. If I tell you this is the same Shelby who has the ability to make the evil look to make you turd your pants and the one who broke her brothers fingers … come on can you blame me?

 Schizophrenic and more swings of her mood more than my local park , Shelbz is quite infectious in terms of her character . An avid reader of my blog and an avid follower of the bearded movement, there’s a method to her madness after all.  

 A mention is necessary of Shelby is necessary (hope it won’t inflate her ego), because this is the same Shelby who just simply said Ayyaz, don’t worry about any backlash from Manchester attacks because we as Dyno colleagues will support you. This is the same Shelby who makes it a point to give me The Bearded salute whenever I pass her in work.

 

Small things you might think, but this is Shelby Sheridan who said she will track me down if I don’t give up junk food for a month …. she isn’t as big as me but o God, don’t get on the wrong side of her * has a big gulp*. Yes, she is cookoo … Justin Beiber’s Despicto, heard of that? Well, now there’s a remix of that called would you like a Dorito? Don’t ask …

So to sum this up, Shelby is hilarious with the stuff she comes out with knowingly and unknowingly , but the underline thing is, she is one of the most loyal people you will ever meet. This one’s for you Shelby, you nutter!

PS, this particular post would have been up much sooner, but as I do value my own health …. and safety, I decided to check and check again with her. But I am sure it’s still not to standard, but it’s still getting put up on my blog.

Lessons in life, death is certain taxes are certain getting beaten up by Shelby Sheridan is also a certain if you get on the wrong side of her.

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The Bearded Captain; Don’t Dye Your Beard In Any Colour Except Ginger!

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Hello and greetings from The Bearded Captain. My soldiers, be proud of the colour of your beard and let nature take its path 🙂

 

Hello and greetings from your Bearded Captain. I pray that all my soldiers are well, in good health and in the process of growing beards! Before I get my teeth into today’s subject, I just want to say thank you for you guys being such wonderful soldiers and as your Bearded Captain, I am really honoured to be leading you guys.

Ok, mushy stuff out of the way, so the issue at hand then. The issue which I would like to raise today is this, the issue of the dying of the beard. Now, I know what you’re thinking but please hear me out, this issue does have some relevance, you’re going to have to take my word on that.

Now, the dying of hair is a topic that people might take lightly if they do no biggie, but as I have said before our beards are unique and this isn’t merely just “another issue”. As I have said time and time again, our beard’s are unique because when maintained correctly, they look magnificent!

Of course my bearded brothers, you already know that. So with that in mind, the need to preserve one’s beard is extremely necessary.  Yes, we have talked about combing and perfuming the beard, but I just feel this issue of the beard dye hasn’t been touched upon and it needs to be.

When someone dyes their hair, they use different colours, but when it comes to the beard let’s make this clear don’t dye it. Why I hear you ask? The reason is simple a beard grows naturally, so allow nature to take it’s path, the same applies to your natural beard hair colour too.

Blonde beard, green beard or blue beard just isn’t a good luck, but ginger is I have natural ginger strands in my beard hehe. Do I really need to explain why not dye your beard in any other colours except ginger? Let’s just say this if I do need to explain,  it makes me wonder are you seriously listening to your Bearded Captain and his advice?  …. You might have to take a long hard look at yourself O Bearded One.

The sharp-minded one’s amongst you will be thinking what about when I get older and my beard turns grey what do I do? Well after studying this particular topic long and hard as I devoured a Dixy burger ( bearded man’s best friend if you like), it came to my attention that it’s absolutely not allowed to dye a grey beard back to your natural hair colour. I hope that makes sense.

When the time comes for your beard to fully mature and turn grey, embrace the fact that it’s happened to you and that you have been chosen by the one who gave you your man fur in the first place.

If you hide your natural beard hair colour to the people, a question I would ask is are you hiding other stuff, are you truthful beard. I mean if it came to it, would you share your last piece of chicken with me? (yes I would share it with a bearded brother in case you’re wondering).

I will close on this point brothers, a beard is a thing of beauty. For some of you, you will live long enough for your beard to grow grey, that’s not a bad thing far from it …. embrace it, brothers! A grey beard shows wisdom and the right person will respect you for it, if they don’t you’re around the wrong people.

It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.

 

Dixy (The Best A Man Can Get)

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DISCLAIMAER; This image, is not suitable to be viewed by “little boys”.

For a man with a beard and someone who really takes pride in his facial hair, naturally, I will rebuke the “slogan” “Gillette, the best a man can get”. Not only is the phrase non-sensical, it’s “not true”.

Now why I say this is simple, I say this because with the greatest respect (my blog is my own opinion I must add as well),but come on guys a guy who doesn’t have a beard doesn’t look too dissimilar to a woman,well in the case of some men anyway.

Yes, there’s men like Christiano Ronaldo, who some see as the ultimate man, but anyway back to my original point. Nature intended for a man to let his beard grow, global corporations brought in the razor blade…. fact!

For the men amongst us, like myself I am sure you are not “too fussy”. Well, I know I am not anyway. I am a guy who has a shaved head and a beard and always like to dress, smart casual.

Yes, these days I have slightly changed that (my fashion sense) with the purchase of my trilby (my pride and joy) but one thing that hasn’t changed is my love for the chicken burger. The chicken burger is arguably the best gift to mankind.

Why do I say such a thing? Well, the reason is simple soft bread with the most succulent pieces of chicken sandwiched in between, is one of the best to come on planet earth.

The chicken burger has many “imitations”. Chicken Cottage, Chunky Chicken, KFC or Kansas are decent burgers, but boys take a step back and make way for the “true king” in the chicken burger department … Dixy Chicken!

With a waistline which proves my knowledge of the chicken burger, arguably I am a historian in the field. I  also call myself a connoisseur in the field or as the cool kids call it burger fiend.

Whereas some settle for burger mediocrity, me sir ….. no way! You are not pulling the wool over my eyes. Let’s all take a minute and give Dixy a standing salute *literally stands up and salutes*.

Why such overboard praise I hear you say, let me tell you the story of how my love affair with that fine piece of meat started. I was young, slim and recently  became single at the time.

Sad at this fact, I turned to my local Dixy Chicken in Chorlton Manchester,for comfort. I had spent  a week long “dedicated mission” of having burgers from a burgerland  called Hardys and from the farm of McDonaldsville where meaty chicken burgers were served.

This holy land of burgers (Ajman) was crucial in my early struggle of my study of the Chicken burger.

“She” ( the mega mix burger meal)  was caring and very welcoming as I took my quest and resarch to “Dixyville.I opened her box, The moment was special, even if there were pervs looking at mine and the chicken burgers unadulterated love.

Mega Mix, just made me want more. It was “her” beautiful texture of chicken meat that had my heart racing. I felt like a teenager seeing his first crush all over again. Dixy was obviously happy to see me too, “she” really made an effort for me. If that’s not love I don’t know what is, there were no complications.

No small talk was needed, just pure me eating “her baps” and enjoying the mayo that was wrapped in the burger. Now for the perfect burger, one must have it at the right temperature, it’s only fitting for such.

Not too crunchy and not too salty, the boys at Dixy deserve some epic high fives. That isn’t all that makes their chicken as Magnifique as it is. For good chicken, it has to be the right colour as well.

Too greasy and too “masala” like are an absolute no-no. Devouring the taste of the burger on your fingers is one thing, but to have the masala run over your fingers is absolutely another and a big red flag!

You’re probably thinking, this doesn’t prove (my study). But this is a scientific study, that isn’t based on logic, facts or even stats. The equation is simple, megamix burger, plus a portion of chips and cup of Pepsi = a very happy young man indeed.

As this is a delicate study and will  arguably take years to fully understand it’s magnificence, I will be “self-sacrificing myself” to carry on with my goal of studying the chicken burger universe and eating more when I can.

All that is left now is for a grant from a top university, to aid me in my “selfless work” of the study of the chicken burger. Guys someone has got to do it and yours truly Mr Bearded Prince (Professor Dixy Chicken Lover)  will “sacrifice” himself xx.

PS, a special mention must go to Roosters in Altrincham, but sorry fellas you are no Dixy Chicken Chorlton. My selfless burger eating research is an ongoing struggle, but I am willing to “take one for the team”.

No, I insist it’s ok guys, really it’s ok.