Biscuits,

The tea/coffee dippers

Hello and good morning my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag bearer of all beards on digital media. I am that beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that beard who tries to make people smile.

Brothers, I pray you’re looking after yourselves and I pray you look after your beards! Bearded Soldiers, I want to talk about the issue of the biscuit dipper. This topic, I have found has divided opinion. My Bearded Beloved’s in short, your Captain will say just don’t do it!

To clarify, what it is you shouldn’t be doing it’s the issue of putting biscuits (usually digestives) into your tea or coffee. Whether you should have tea or coffee is a debate in itself, but I digress …. My Bearded Soldiers your beverage is for drinking.

Your tea/coffee isn’t tomato ketchup and your biscuit isn’t a chip (if you know what I mean). The tea dippers will be able to clarify their rationale, but soggy digestives? Really??? As bad as that is, I have heard and seen toast being dipped into a beverage and also naan!

Especially with the last example, you know the end is nigh. Maybe, if you have flu for example you won’t have the taste buds to taste soggy biscuits, but the visual (yuck). There is also the other kind of dippers, the soup dippers.

A true story here, I was told is was soup for dinner. To say I was devastated doesn’t do the moment I made the heartbroken face justice. Soup, tomato soup is ok … but on it’s own! Soggy bread even with tomato sauce on it… just why !?

My brothers, I pray none of you fall foul of this woeful act. (This blog like with all my other posts are silly tongue and cheek). It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.

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Leather vs chain strap

Hello and good evening, greetings my name is the Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag bearer of all beards on digital media.

I am not that bears who tries to make people laugh, and I am that beard who tries to make people smile.

I hope you’re looking after yourselves and more importantly I hope you’re looking after your beards!

My bearded soldiers what I want to talk about, Is an issue in regards to dress shall we say.

To be more specific, it’s wrist wear I’m talking about, not a bracelet, but a watch. There are a few different kind of watches.

Leather straps, a metal strap and a elasticated strap. In short, the bracelet watch strap, in my humble just doesn’t do it for me.

Why? Because it suffocates the skin and leaves a mark on the arms/wrists. There are the other two options though, the leather strap and the metal chain too.

With the metal chain, arguably when it’s a cold day, you feel the cold metal chill. It’s a small thing, but not a biggy.

Perfect for smart casual and even a suit too, but anything formal, just doesn’t go well with anything smart I feel.

Maybe a smart watch, or anything with a plastic strap suits it better. The same for a leather strap watch, it is better suited for smart causal look or a suit.

One thing of note, with a leather watch you have to be careful in the summer. When it’s hot, the leather can almost feel worn and it oozes a not pleasant smell .

Just like with the bracelet watch, where it leaves mark, the leather one can too. This could be counteracted by getting a leather strapped watch with good quality leather, and not imitation leather as I have seen.

Well that’s my thoughts, do you agree? Let me know in the comments.

A fine example of a leather watch, here I offer my thoughts on the watch straps available
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The snacks theory discussed

Hello and good evening my Bearded Soldiers, It’s me your Bearded Captain, Leader and flag bearer of all beards of all beards on digital and digital broadcasting media.

I am that beard who tries to make people laugh, and I am that beard who tries to make people smile..

My bearded beloved’s, I want to discuss an important issue, which is linked to one of the previous blog posts we spoke about.

The second to last blog post, was talking about the issue of having space for dessert. In this blog post, after having the discussion with Mrs Captain, I put it to you lovely folk.

Is snacking (eating walkers crisps for example) possible to do alongside having a mains? So what I mean is this brothers, yours truly loves his food. I know that’s well known, especially how much I harp on about food (Dixy’s to be precise).

So the reason why I put this into this blog post, is because this question and scenario happened today. That made me think, there’s no one better to help me with this one, than my Bearded Soldiers.

Let me know what you think in the comments. It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.

So, is there always space for dessert?

Hello and greetings my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag bearers of all beards on digital and digital broadcasting media. I am that beard who tries to make people laugh, and I am that beard who tries to make people smile.

My beloved brothers, I want to and need to talk about an important topic, that’s in turn caused quite a discussion. That brothers,is the issue of “is there always space for dessert?”. In short, yes there is (it’s been scientifically proven).

But with such a debate, the full side of the argument needs to be heard. One side of the argument, is that enjoy your starters and mains, and leave that as that. There’s a time for desserts, but that’s a bit more of on a special occasion.

The other side of the argument, is that a dessert is the perfect was to sign off a delicious meal. For example, you can not go into Nawabs, enjoy their starters and mains, and not sign the meal off with a dessert. That’s the headline performance for the evening (the desserts counter).

I am too full, just doesn’t cut it. If somehow (although it’s in the mindset) you are legitimately too full, then you need to change your strategy. It’s an unwritten rule, you can not have starters and mains only. in many Eastern cultures and traditions, a dessert is always served after dinner time.

The dessert is seen as almost a limb of the dinner, they are connected to each other. As much, as I love desserts, my beards it’s not possible to solely have a dessert mains course. What I mean, is that you have to have a mains course and a dessert, not just the dessert.

As savoury as a dessert is, that’s directing yourself to diabetes avenue if you have a dessert on your own. Brothers, honor your beards, the way they deserve to be honoured. My soldiers, be consistent in your cause for the love of beard.

Brothers, be dedicated in showing good love to the dessert, which includes chocolate cake and all the other cakes out there. It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain, stay blessed stay beard!

The people who you can’t trust (Satire)

Hello, good morning my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain (Leader of all beards, flag bearer of all beards on digital media). My beards, I want to stand to salute you all first of all.

You’re a credit to yourselves and your face. My brothers (non-keyworkers) you have had to overcome the “you need to shave your face, because of the coronavirus – and they say being bearded” can cause the spread of infection.

Your Captain has had this experience to deal with too. So how you deal with it? Well, I always advise to not go fire with fire, never really solves anything. So the scenario unfolded like so.

Them; “Yaz (The Bearded Captain), you will have to shave your beard because of what Dr’s are saying about coronavirus”.
Me; “Yeah, I know (Won’t insert her name here), I heard this on the news as well. If this ever becomes the case, that my beard is a problem in the workplace due to COVID, then I will self isolate”.

Game, set and match. There are our fallen heroes who are health care professionals and have had to lose their face shield, but in my case, I am not in health care … so no, I won’t give up my pride and joy for the sake of it.

There are respectively bigger challenges that a beard will need to face like the challenges of the summer. so without too much further ado, of course, someone who betrays their beard isn’t trustworthy, but let me give you some more examples.

Biscuit dippers …. biscuits aren’t there to be subjected to suicide dives into someone’s cup! The chocolate digestives are the flag bearers of biscuit.

It’s a unique name, shares similar traits to Pritt stick, blue tack and sellotape – what I mean by this whichever company makes it and even if their company calls it one, we the public will universally know it as that.

So, for example, Pritt stick will always be known as that whichever company makes it, so to subject the biscuit to such mindless abuse is, sweet snacks abuse!

Then you have the people who put the hot water in before making the coffee, what kind of evil sorcery is this? I can’t help but imagine you’re the very same kind of people who eat KitKat four fingers in the same way, you eat other chocolates.

What I mean, is that instead of eating the Nation’s favourite chocolate that you have on your first break with a cuppa, the normal way …. some of you eat the Kitkat with two half fingers ate.

I have to put the question, are the people who would spell your name, Sean, instead of Shaun? the first example surely spells seen, right? Unfortunately, there is women’s name spelt in the same unusual way.

Siobhan, is actually pronounced Shivorn? Siobhan spells C-O-Ban! So, as you can see these are several examples of the untrustworthy ones. We can’t forget to mention, the ones who wear socks when going to bed.

I am ashamed to admit this, I was one who was upon this treacherous way of thinking. Thankfully sense prevailed. Last but not least, another example of an “untrustworthy person”, is when they get a chicken burger meal, they finish their burger first and leave the chips.

A real crime, to burger meals and how they should be eaten. Chips first then the burger or you mix the two … but you do not! finish burger first. A bit of satire (attempted there) t try and cheer you up.

On that note my beards, I will now love you and leave you… it’s over and out from The Bearded Captain!