The Perfect Cake By Professor Choco Cake Lover

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Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls I am sure you have been aware that I have been writing some blog posts of some “scientific findings”. My first study was over the Dixy Chicken burger and the other study was of the man fur that is the beard.

This blog post will let you know the outcome of my other study, the study of the chocolate cake. Again just like our friends at Dixy Chicken, this time our other friends at Dessert Republic also in Chorlton Manchester, to deserve an epic high five.

Located in the town centre of the Chorlton town centre, boys and girls these chappies make you feel like the bee’s knees (and no I am not on comission either), I genuinely mean this . For those of you who know me, you would know I am an avid researcher in the field of eating and in particular the eating of cakes.

The cake is a cake, some argue ….. if you are of this opinion, please don’t get offended when I say this, but if anyone holds that opinion I will have to buy a 10lb weight of fish and slap it accross your face. You would deserve it too!

Anyway,a cake isn’t just a cake ….. no no, not even close. A cake comes in different forms, there is the supermarket cake, there’s Karim’s cake, the Nawaab’s cake and O yes the beautiful Dessert Republic cake.

As I have said this before, I consider myself an expert in the field. Well putting on the weight that I have done, that surely hasn’t gone in vain let me assure you! So boys and girls what makes the good cake.

I have noted a few different examples of cake, let’s start with the bad examples. That is Karim’s’ cake and that of the supermarket stuff. Now, some may argue I am being harsh, but no when they say sponge cake, I don’t literally expecting to be eating the sponge. If I wanted to eat the scouring pad, I would have done by buying some from the £1 shop, but no thanks, not on this occasion.

I could have poured my whole glass of water in there and it still would have been hard as a rock. Talk about stuck between a rock in a hard place!

Not too moist, no no but not too dry is the reason why both the supermarket cake and Karims’ cake is out of the running, guys I have done my research I know what I am talking about.

When I have a cake, I want it to be as soft and warm as my heart and not as hard and cold as my ex’s. Nawaab’s and the Dessert Republic both do this perfectly (cake at the right temperature) , but the reason why I love the Dessert Republic cake is because it’s a place you can go to day in, day out and even Nawaabs have had a bad day at the office.

Your visit to Dessert Republic isn’t one to do on your own, because that’s the key rule when going out (never eat or drink on your own) but that isn’t saying bother the person randomly at your next table and pretend that you know them, that’s just creepy.

I have never done that … honest hahaha.

Soft, and melt in your mouth like cake which is succulent and not too soft and not too hard is what a cake should be, with the smooth chocolate gushing as you press your spooon into the cake,  the guys at the Dessert Republic I literally salute you. Just when I thought the art form of the perfect cake was dying out, you my friend said “we got this Ayyaz” and you were true to your word.

The nice sprinkle of the Dessert Republic on my plate, that just makes something better and better. Am I being biased? Check for yourself. Nawaabs is good, but it doesn’t have the same touch, personal touch as what the Dessert Republic has. I rest my case, I will take my blank cheque in the post ….. thank you.

*Disclaimer, I wrote this for part sattire and for my general love of Dessert Republic and my views don’t represent theirs thank you*


Published by ayyazmalik

Hi guys thanks for having a look at my blog :) . Just to state the obvious my name is Ayyaz Malik. I love writing articles, it's been a passion since I have been a 'wee nipper'. To share a little bit about myself I am training to be a cricket umpire (yay!) and I work for the Asian Sunday :) which is a up and coming paper in Bradford. is my way of sharing with you my view on sports world and world in general.

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