Hello, and greetings my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards. Good morning to you all (it was at the time of typing anyway).
My bearded beloved’s I hope you’re well and looking after yourselves, and maintaining your beeeeeards! *cries uncontrollably*.
As I am sure you remember ( I can’t forget as I am still traumatised) that I had a beard trimming mishap where my luscious bearded locks perished … and I was left with a short beard! *stops the tears rolling down his cheeks*.
That was two weeks ago, but the pain is still fresh. In this case, time isn’t a good healer, but it will heal my face and put it back to its rightful facial settings of being a long-bearded man.
I am not saying there’s anything wrong with being a short beard, but when you go long anything else seems wrong. My beard comb is trying to claim redundancy from me, I am convinced of it.
What was a proud shiny wooden comb, appears to be collecting dust. I know I preach, thou shall not forget his beard the same way he/she won’t forget their phone, but I don’t fancy combing my skin essentially, that’s just weird.
It’s been tough seeing my brothers with long beards and me with a short one. I will never be jealous, that’s not fitting of a beard to be jealous but what I do feel is regret that I could have had such a cavalier approach when it came to maintaining my pride and joy.
There is some good news in what has been a sad tale for all beards so far …. my beard is growing back! What was once a beard that didn’t leave my face, I am delighted to report the beard hairs have grown out and all be it a little bit, my beard hairs are growing off my face.
The side of the beard is puffed out and now needs combing, moisturizing and oiling down – I have not needed to do that in many weeks. Some think it’s a bad thing, but the beard itches have returned too!
Most of you would have watched Superman and saw when he started to realise he had powers and could see through walls, beard growth on my face makes me feel like that. Or when Peter Parker (Spiderman) realised he could climb walls and release a web from his palm.
To emphasise the point, remember when Wolverine from X-Men realized he had claws? Yeah, this what it feels like when your beard grows out. A longer beard has it’s challenges of course it does, but look at those superheroes and how they find their superpowers.
Brothers if you grow your beard properly, with love care, affection but most importantly using TLB (tender love of beard) then you will unlock your superpower to the world.
Bearded brethren, you’re handsome because the one who gave you the beard gave you your looks, but he made you even more handsome because he made you look like a man.
One last thing, if you want to trim your beard … really take care and don’t do what I did!
It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.
The Bearded Captain 