Hello, and greetings my bearded soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain. Brothers, I hope you’re well and looking after your beards. my Bearded Beloved’s I want to talk about an important issue.
That is the issue of The Gap Beard. Brothers, that’s as literal as it sounds. Now, I must admit this topic didn’t come to my consideration until I heard someone mention this issue.
My soldiers, we have talked in length about the need and necessity of growing a beard and how awesome they are and make you look. What makes a beard as show-stopping as it is, is the fact it’s well kept, groomed and “full”.
So that means brothers your beard needs to join to the tash and your cheek hairs need to be full up with no gaps. It’s hard for some of your (namely the white guy and Arabs), but a beard in its true beauty is when it’s full.
To fill gaps in a wall, you use polly filler, if only there was a beard equivalent!
Spare a thought for some Chinese, and other brothers from The Far East. You can’t grow a full beard, so shave it? Errrr no! Brother of mine, I can assure you, you’re very beloved to me and even loved more than the other beards are loved by your bearded leader.
Some of the Asian teenagers have better facial hair than you when they’re 13, but you still persist in beard life. Where you can (the parts that grow) *weeps at that fact*, put cream or beard oil on your beard.
Nothing beats keeping your beard well nourished. Whether you have a full Merlin or Cat Whiskers beard, you will still be better than a clean-shaven. I know a beard with a gap, is arguably the male equivalent of being flat-chested, but a clean-shaven is like a girl putting tissue roll in her t-shirt (if you know what I mean)
We are brothers my beards, we are all equal. The example of someone with a beard gap reminds of to be grateful for what beard we have been given, we should appreciate what we have.
It’s over and out from The Bearded (full beard from the cheeks, with no gaps) Captain.
If you want to help support project bearded captain/ the sports buff and help me grow, visit the following link;