Signs of psycho (satire)

Hello, and greetings my bearded soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag-bearer of all beards. I pray you’re all well, and in the process of growing your beards. 

My Bearded brothers, I want to talk about an issue, that is worthy of mentioning. This my brothers, isn’t bearded topic as such, but it’s most definitely needed to be mentioned. The topic is the signs of a psychopath. 

On face value, you might think I am bringing late nights Real TV, to my blog this isn’t the case. All be it tongue in cheek, and attempted humour in this blog, I still want to mention these kinds of people, because they need a mention. 

To put this out there, this isn’t a Kyle bashing blog, nor a Karen bashing blog either. My bearded beloved’s, the kind of people you need to be careful of due to their “psycho” way are these who don’t eat their kitKat four fingers one by one. 

These people, eat their Kitkat’s like a snickers bar, meaning all four fingers are half-eaten! Those people are bad, but then you get the people who put three spoons of sugar in their tea/coffee. 

If you’re that bothered about sugar, then open a coca-cola bottle and put that in your kettle! There is hot Vimto, so maybe someone could start a hot coca-cola. on the sounds of it, that doesn’t sound very appealing, but I can imagine some will do this. 

If I tell you brothers, there are some people who consciously get a class of milk and mix coca-cola in it, yuck! I am not an alcohol drinker myself, but it looks like Bailey’s. I have tasted it, in my naivety and it’s repugnant, to put it mildly. 

I can’t help but think, the people who do any of these things, if not all of them, are the same people who wear white trainers with a suit, or who wear white sport sock! An absolute no-no!  

So there you have it, my brothers, here is some example of people, who can only really be described as psychopaths, due to some of the choices they make in life. 

It’s over and out from your Bearded Captain, stay blessed stay beard!

Here is my very first podcast, hope you like it!; If you want to help support project bearded captain/ the sports buff and help me grow, visit the following link; Thank you


Published by ayyazmalik

Hi guys thanks for having a look at my blog :) . Just to state the obvious my name is Ayyaz Malik. I love writing articles, it's been a passion since I have been a 'wee nipper'. To share a little bit about myself I am training to be a cricket umpire (yay!) and I work for the Asian Sunday :) which is a up and coming paper in Bradford. is my way of sharing with you my view on sports world and world in general.

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