Hello good morning and greetings my Bearded Soldiers. It’s me Bearded Captain leader of all beards and flag bearer of all beards on digital media.
I am that Beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that beard who tries to make people smile.
My brothers what I want to talk about here is the issue of just why you don’t call me Captain Birdseye.
Now those of you who don’t know who Captain Birdseye is, he is a fictional character based on the frozen food brand.
Or maybe I should say there’s a frozen food brand called Captain Birdseye and their adverts which depict a fictional character who plays Captain Birdseye.
It must be stated my title is the Bearded Captain. So naturally if you call me Captain Birdseye we’re going to fall out.
Also Captain Birdseye looks like uncle Albert from only fools and horses. And no sir I do not look like Uncle Albert from only fools and horses.
That’s the exact point uncle Albert is a more elder statesman of society. Me? I’m still 34 years young Sir.
Also it must be stated Captain Birdseye is a captain of his own ship but he has no affiliation to beard life so he cannot represent us.
Calling me Captain Birdseye it’s like calling me Captain Morgan just why? Guys there is a few rules when it comes to me.
Never insult my facial hair and know that I will still tell jokes, no matter how terrible you think they are.
Any other authentic compliments of course will never go amiss. But there you go my brothers my bearded beloved’s.
It’s over and out from the Bearded Captain stay blessed stay in beard!