How to crack women (satire)

Hello and greetings my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain leader of all beards, flag bearer of all beards.

Brothers, I want to talk about the issue of the women folk.

Their rights to vote, equal pay and just a general position in society , women are a hotly debated subject.

Brothers as a man who is married and also been divorced I want to talk about some ways, some tips and methods on how to understand women better.

So my beloved’s what I want to talk about is a few different scenarios where every woman has come into this particular category/scenario.

I will tell you the first scenario, ”I am ok” or “leave me alone” an all too familiar scenario right? This is when you ask her are you okay? Then she says I’m okay but you can tell from her face she’s just not.

Sometimes she may need to be left alone. Other times, the all mighty knows best, because if you leave her alone you’re not giving her enough attention.

Yes, very confusing I know! The same thing with the, she is ok scenario, if you assume she’s ok and not say anything, it will lead to a world war.

What do you do then? I can only advise ask her are you ok, but don’t over do it, let her come to you. In this Scenario, it can be argued there’s no right answer, in the case of a woman it’s always wrong answer.

Brother for this next point, don’t mention this for your own your own safety.I can’t forget to mention the how it takes her half of the day to get ready, Brother don’t mention this for your own safety.

Just as long as you’re ready for that party before she is and you can sit down and read blogs, like this or listen to/watch my videos, that’s fine.

A woman is always right, in all circumstances. No if no buts. Also note her cooking doesn’t need anymore salt, it’s perfect!

The last example, is when taking her out to dinner. Women love to be given the feeling that they are in control. A man? He has that same thought.

So what to do here? It’s simple brothers, you pay attention to what restaurant she likes. With this this info, you make it look like you made the decision to go to the restaurant she likes.

It shows you’re decisive , but also you have her interests at heart, you’re welcome.

Brothers, also want to mention, if you ever wind up a woman… give them space. You will have to apologise to them for getting them mad, but then give them time to cool down.

When dealing with a fire, does the fire fighter attack the flames straight up? No, of course he doesn’t! He allows the flames to decrease, that’s what you’re doing here.

So that’s your guide brothers. If you bear these tips in mind, consider this that you have survived being out in the wild.

Is there any examples I missed? Let me know in the comments. It’s over and from the The Bearded Captain.

Stay blessed, stay beard!

Published by ayyazmalik

Hi guys thanks for having a look at my blog :) . Just to state the obvious my name is Ayyaz Malik. I love writing articles, it's been a passion since I have been a 'wee nipper'. To share a little bit about myself I am training to be a cricket umpire (yay!) and I work for the Asian Sunday :) which is a up and coming paper in Bradford. ayyazmalik.com is my way of sharing with you my view on sports world and world in general.

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