Hello and good evening my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain leader of all Beards and flag bearer of all Beards on digital and digital broadcasting media, I am that Beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that Beard who tries to make people smile.
My Bearded Heroes I pray you’re well, looking after yourselves and your Beards! Brothers, we need to talk about a topic that needs to be mentioned, the issue of the Grey Beard. Now Hollywood, will let you think George Clooney made Grey Beards cool, nope he’s a two day stubbler. let’s clear that up!
Brothers, I pray you all have a long life, long enough for your hair to go grey, it’s the cycle of life (unless you’re the 70 year old Pakistani uncles who have jet black hair of youth, but have the wrinkled face that says otherwise).
My Soldiers, Grey Beards will happen to you in old age, you can dye it black, purple or ginger (an awesome beard colour), but the issue will remain the same, there’s no getting away from it. If you were like me when you got the odd strand and decided to cut it, this is a bad move.
Why, I hear you ask? Well let me give you the example of me, in my instance I tried to be clever and cut the grey strands off, all two of them … and guess what those two strands turned into four! On top of that, I now have grey strand side burns!
My Shining Bearded Knights, just remember that Pierce Brosnan and the late Sean Connery both embraced Grey Beards. Why do I say this? Brothers, you’re an equal to two acting greats. My Beloved’s your superstars in your own right. My Beards, you should have your own stars on the Hollywood walk of fame.
Brothers, Hollywood is Bearded Biased, so don’t let them get you down! They made Russell Crowe shave his Beard off! They showed him to have been a victorious Bearded Gladiator in the film Gladiator by slaying man after man (who happened to be clean shaven) , with his zero man army, but he lost what should have been an easier battle, not to shave his Beard!
My Bearded Soldiers, I will leave you with this, remember a Beard is for life and not just for winter, a Beard is for life and not when you’re ‘too old’ to shave. Brothers, shaving with older frail hands, that would have been a no for me, if he didn’t have a Beard.
It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.