Hello and good evening my Beautiful Bearded Brothers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag bearer of all beards on digital and digital broadcast media.
I am that Beard who tries to make people laugh snd I am that Beard who tries to make people smile .
Bearded Stallions, I pray you’re well, looking after yourselves and your Beards! Beloved’s we need to talk.
I am sure you have seen the abundance of TikTok videos and Instagram ones too. My Soldiers, I am referring to SaltBae of course, yes that fella who does a Karate Kid impression when sprinkling salt on food.
Well, that same fella has become kind of a big deal. From a meme, to a celebrity in his own right, so when Nusret decided to open his own restaurant in London, the attention was caught of many. Nusret Gokce is a name that could pass of as any other name, but when one hears the name Saltbae, you think of cranekick like Danielsan, but on food.
The 38-year old since opening his restaurant, has caused a bit of a stir with some of the pricing. Red Bull £11! This energy drink obviously gives you more than wings, it must give you aeroplane wings at that price! We don’t advocate mortgages here, noooo.
The head of the banks are all clean shaven, we are not in the business to give the clean shaven power! But brothers some of those prices makes me think, you will have to get one! I can imagine to look at the menu in there would cost you £9.99!
Nando’s was expensive I said, The Captain still says! Thing is though brothers since this new restaurant is open, I can now confidently say that Nandos? Well that’s like McDonald 99p McSaver menu.
There was me thinking Nawaabs was the Crem De La Crem of eating (yeah maybe I have cheaper taste). One thing which really got me was a Tik Tok of Nusret feeding someone … thank you Mr Salt Bae, but he’s a grown man he doesn’t need feeding.
My mum taught how to eat with a spoon and not with a knife. I suppose I could swing my hips while chopping onions and try my luck too? Yeah maybe not 😂.
Brothers, we love the hustle and those who hustle, but there’s a line (the £11 Red Bull line). He’s sprinkling salt on his elbow, how about you don’t sprinkle the salt, I can do it myself thanks, maybe it will cost less … too much salt isn’t good for you anyway Nusret.
My Brothers, if you’re that keen to waste your money on food? Go Nandos …. Yes, I will say it Nando’s is overpriced and overrated. So there you have it, a night out at Nusr-Et London could very well cost you a kidney if not both.
My beloved’s, I can feed myself, I don’t need Red Bull, drink water and not energy drinks. A gold wrapped burger? Or whatever it is, yes I am going to say it, nothing beats Miami’s in Manchester for burgers, chicken burgers.
It won’t be long till there will be a ‘Pepper Bae’ I said what I said. It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.
The Bearded Captain 