Hello and good evening my Bearded Heroes, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all Beards, flag bearer of all Beards on digital and digital broadcasting media. I am that Beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that Beard who tries to make people smile.
My brothers, I pray you’re well, looking after yourselves and your Beards! My soldiers, I need to talk about an important issue in the life of a Beard, the issue of employment. Bearded Stallions, us Beards we’re all for hard work, we work our asses off, to make sure our face trophies, well look look like a trophy.
You will be surprised brothers, despite doing all this, these Beards are too lazy to work! An honest days work or laze around, they would take the latter rather than the former. These very Beards say that their God’s gift, well his Excellency did gift them with one of the best blessings, but even though his Majesty did gift them with Beards, don’t forget hard work wows the women too.
As the clean shaven Robert Mugabe once said, the lady wants six cars and not a six pack, so keep working hard my brother. Never a truer word spoken. Beards don’t sponge off the state, Beards work for an honest days living.
There are some Beards who are ill like bed ridden ill, that’s of course an exemption. Brothers you have Beards, you could be Father Christmas for the Christmas season, ho ho … no!
This is for the small minority and now they know too, this isn’t on at all! It’s over and out from The Captain.