Hello and good evening my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag bearers of all beards on digital broadcasting media. I am that beard who tries to make you laugh, and I am that beard who tries to make you laugh and I am that beard who tries to make you smile.
My Bearded Beloved’s I hope you’re well and I hope you’re looking after yourselves and your beard! Brothers I want to talk about an important issue. Brothers, we have done many a blog post on Asian life, so you lovely souls might be getting an idea of what it’s like to be brown and originate from the Asian Sub Continent.
What I want to mention in this blog, is some common traits of an Asian man. In the previous blog, we did mention the Alpha Male mentality that an Asian “Uncle” has (he never shows emotions). That Asian man will have a mustache, sometimes their tash is curly, a comical looking curly, but not the Yosemite Sam type.
Other traits, might not be as obvious … they tend to die their hair. Ever wonder how these older Asian men have hair blacker than shoe polish? Nope, it’s not what you think (because they’re single) they have grey hair and are using grey hair to cover it! Oooo they’re living in denial, let them go grey gracefully.
This is coming from the bald headed man, who after seeing he had three grey strands of beard hair, cut them off! Hey, in my defence I am 34, and too young for being a grey fox.
I can’t forget the wig. An Asian man, will wear and wig when they go bald, not me I have bald gracefully. When I get cold on my head it’s the trilbies or the snapbacks, never a wig! They look like a rag on your head …. just no!
Me and my brother, play wig watch (seeing if some’s head full of hair is a wig or genuine)… such is the amusement we get from how ridiculous you look. The argument is, it’s better than a comb over, but I don’t think it is.
Literally laughing in my head when I think about getting the hoover and sucking it over the Asian man’s wig.
If you’re from Manchester and you’re an Asian young man and you see them wearing designer trainers, namely Nike, know that they’re a Bury New Road special (knock off trainers). Yes, there maybe cheap, but when I go down to Bury New Road, nothing is more annoying than being harassed by people drumming up business for their shops.
I would much prefer to go to Turkey, if I really wanted counterfeit sports wear. Going to the European country, will also be a holiday where the weather tends to be nice weather, or I could get new teeth if I went Turkey, which would crown off my trip … yes that was a teeth pun.
Other traits of an Asian man, would be his “Rado or Rolex” watch. If you ask them, no it’s not Brolex or Ralo. Funny story, when my brother would change watch batteries for these kind of watches in my dad’s shop and tell them price of the battery fitting the Asian men, would get angry.
When it was put to them, due to the severity of the Rado mechanism and labour expertise needed this is why it would cost more. This is where the lie, would unravel .. it’s only a cheap watch they would fume, that costs more than the watch!
Oh how the mighty fall at that very moment. Last and most certainly not least (as I am sure there is more, but I will only mention these) is an Asian man will always exaggerate the price he paid for a house or a car. That Asian Uncle brought a new car?
If he brought it for let’s sey £11,995 … he will say he got for £14,995. Obviously you don’t tell the truth for how much you got it now there for do you?
That is my list of traits of Asian men, is there any more? Let me know in the comments it’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.