food

My review of The Fat Pizza

Hello and good evening, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag bearer of all beards on digital media.I am that beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that beard who tries to make people smile. My brothers, I hope you’re well, looking after yourselves and more importantly your beard!

My Bearded Beloved’s I want to talk about an important issue in the life of beard. Brothers, as you know I fancy myself as a bit of a burger connoisseur. Here though, I want to talk about The Fat Pizza. Brothers, I love my pizza, but not like I love my burgers. Today was the first day I tried The fat Pizza. This pizza shop has shops across the country, so expectations were high.

Just like with a burger, I expect what I am eating to be fresh, kind to the teeth as I don’t plan a tug war with the crust and my teeth & easy on the taste buds.

For some it’s just pizza, but for me I expect that I can taste the toppings of the pizza and warm soft base as well a nice crunchy crust too, but not too crunchy which you find on non fresh pizza.

What makes a pizza is the deep pan base in my humble opinion and the way the sauce is applied.The fat pizza, mastered this perfectly! For my personal pizza choice on the day I opted for chicken and beef, being the meat lover that I am.

Was I disappointed? Absolutely not! I can’t forget the soft melting cheesy that forms like a string too, which they got right down to the T . That brothers … is magnifique pizza! The texture of pizza, the sauce, the taste of base and the crunch of crust – brothers this is “The fat pizza” in the slang term too!

On that note, Brothers These chaps are masters of the pizza, they’re worth a visit. But don’t just take my word for it. They have branches nationwide. It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.

To help keep wonderful content coming through and help maintain project Bearded Captain , you can help fund me here;

https://www.paypal.me/AyyazMalik86

The toughest job interview (satire)

Hello and greetings, my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, here I talk about an issue in the world of beards. Here, brothers, I talk about the toughest job interview known to man.

It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.

To help keep wonderful content coming through and help maintain project Bearded Captain , you can help fund me here;

https://www.paypal.me/AyyazMalik86

How to manage a lockdown

Hello and good evening my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards on digital media and digital broadcasting media. I am that beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that beard who tries to make people smile.

My brothers, I hope you’re well and looking after your beards. Brothers, as you know of course, we are in a Coronavirus Pandemic and in a Lockdown too. My Bearded Soldiers, I know this brings it’s challenges, but I am here for you.

My beloved’s this Lockdown maybe a bit inconvenient, but it doesn’t have to be this way. For most of you, you are working from home, not having to wake up an hour earlier than the sane humans. The insanity, is from those who decide to shave their face.

To make sure you do it carefully and properly, it takes 20 minutes of your day, 20 minutes of your day that can be used elsewhere! There’s also not a need to run out of the door and eat your toast whilst starting your journey of being stuck in a traffic jam. If only you just grew a beard!

The only jam, most of you have to deal with, is the stuff you put on your toast. So, with the morning routine done and arriving at work, some of you will start work as per normal. For those who are homeworkers, you won’t have to contend with the morning traffic jam and you can start your day working at your make-shift office.

Working from home is great, toilet isn’t out of order, the canteen is great and there’s no rush hour to contend with when getting back from work. It may seem advantageous, but with us being in a lockdown, a daily schedule could get repetitive.

If you fear this, worry not, your Captain is here! Brothers, first thing that is needed is a good start to the day. how to achieve this , is when you wake up, thank the one who gave you your beard. Clean yourself and your beard!

Your man fur, is your money maker and needs to be cleaned. TLB (Tender love Of Beard) is necessary. I am sure you know that there is Beard Shampoo, which emphasizes the need to care for your beard. Exercise your mind, and your body too.

An active body, can help keep a mind active and healthy too. In these times, a healthy mind is crucial. Look after your beard, comb it and put product on it too. A tidy well kept beard shows discipline and helps you make you more organized. It brings in some law and order.

An unkept and untidy beard, opens up to laziness. Laziness can have the polar opposite effect on a mind, that’s dangerous. Brothers, I have wrote somethings you can do to help you in lockdown, but not in a religious order.

What’s necessary is that you make sure you complete your check list. Comedy videos, embarking on your creative side also can help you too. Brothers, we did in a previous post talk about surviving in lockdown, but I felt the need to remind to just remind myself of a tidy beard.

One reason which made me type this out, was that Father Malik had to address me about a messy beard. Brothers, a tidy beard and physically combing and styling your beard works wonders. Find time for you, and find time for your beard, you will grow grey and old together.

Your friends and family, are being forced to social distance from you, but your beard though? That’s exempt. Remember that brothers your beard will go into isolation with you if need be. That’s true love my Bearded Soldiers, just don’t forget that love your beard will show you, ever.

It’s over and out from your Bearded Captain.

The theory proved wrong?

Hello, and Greetings my bearded soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag-bearer of all beards. I am that beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that beard who tries to make people smile.

Brothers, I hope you’re well, looking after yourselves and also looking after your beards. My Bearded Soldiers this is a lockdown we’re in, so I hope you’re looking after yourselves. Please feel free to contact me, if you feel you need to in these times if you want to Skype, Whatsapp or communicate in any other way you see fit.

Now, my brothers I am sure you remember my passionate blog post about being loyal to one takeaway and not ruining takeaway night with a ‘dead lemon’ (going to take away that doesn’t meet your expectations).

If you don’t, here is the link of that article https://ayyazmalik.com/2021/01/14/the-takeaway-theory/.

This evening brothers, I have fallen in love (look away now Mrs Malik hehe), but her name is New York Crispy.

She lives on Wilmslow Road’s Curry Mile! Ok, enough sarcasm, for now. My Beloved’s, tonight, treating the experience like a ‘free hit’, I went to one of the best chicken takeaway shops in Manchester, for the very first time.

This wasn’t my opinion, as I hadn’t tried it, but it is now! Double chicken burger, red salted chips and a very generous serving of curry sauce all over the burger, made for a delicious textured burger.

For my taste buds, the curry sauce was spicy, but not too much that it would burn my lip.

As I devoured the burger, bite by bite my pallet was just left in awe of such wonderful tasting beauty in the mouth.

Service was excellent and in no time I could set my eyes on this burger beauty , the burger bun was nice and soft too.

The chicken breast was succulent and thankfully not tasting processed as I have tasted in other takeaways that they sell chicken.

I have been to some takeaways, where I could swear blind, the chicken hasn’t been cooked properly.

New York and their chicken though, no such problems and the chicken was nice and crunchy too.

Long I have been someone who was vocal about not trying a new takeaway and if you do and it’s not nice don’t give them a second chance.

This rule I had almost lived and died by it, but sometimes in life, you need to break the rules lol. With New York Crispy, I broke a rule by trying a new takeaway , what a wonderful tasting meal it was!

For me, the two best burger places are Philadelphia and Miami, but New York needs to enter into the conversation of the best burger places in Manchester.

That was an excellent showing this evening guys. No doubt see you again soon! It’s over and out from The Captain.

The takeaway theory

Hello and good evening my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag bearer of all beards on digital media and digital broadcast media. I am that beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that beard who tries to make people smile.

My brothers, I hope you’re well and looking after yourselves, but most importantly looking after your beards. Bearded Soldiers, Bearded Beloved’s what I want to talk about this evening is takeaways. My beloved’s when you go to a takeaway how many of you try a new takeaway?

I am of the opinion that when it’s take out night, you don’t tend to venture out and try a new take away place after you have found a take away place. As much as I do this, the thinking is flawed I admit (but I still do it). It’s takeaway night, they don’t come around everyday so why waste your shot at takeaway night right?

If you’re like me, it’s something that you build yourself up for, and if you try a new place and it isn’t up to standard, nothing is more soul destroying! Why did you waste your go you ask yourself, when you know (in my case this is), Philadelphia and Miami Fried Chicken never have a bad day in the office.

On the time you say ok, I am going to try a new place, only for the takeaway to be disappointingly below what you expect. Are you like me and give a one strike and you’re out rule? Can you honestly forgive the takeaway place another chance after they ruined takeaway with poor quality food?

Me personally, I just think it’s unforgivable. Forgive but don’t forget as they say. The last thing I want to offer my opinion on in the world of takeaway food is getting your food delivered … I don’t agree, for me I like to see my food prepared and well if I pick up my food, I can maybe eat it in the car if I am too hungry to wait.

Perks like that are priceless. So there’s my thoughts on all matters takeaways, what do you think of my thoughts? Let me know in the comments.

Asda pizza an unsung hero

Hello and good evening, I hope you’re all well, looking after yourselves and keeping safe in these testing times. Ladies and gentleman, here is another food blog for you. The last post we did on food, was on Dixy chicken’s many variety of burgers.

The burgers I tried in that branch of Dixy’s was fantastic! I do digress, but back to the topic and talking of fantastic I want to talk of the fantastic pizza that’s on offer at my local Asda. Now, having checked many Asda stores across my home city (Manchester) this appears to be the only branch that has this kind of pizza.

Now, I am not referring to their Goodfellas range (that’s frozen pizza), no I am talking about the pizza they serve in their canteen. What made their pizza all the better tasting was that I stumbled across the fact that they even sold pizza like this.

Cheese and tomato, with a 14 inch diameter …. it’s to die for! Made with a lot of love and care (which is evident from the taste), the Asda pizza us drizzled with oil and the pizza base is soft with a superb texture. Cheese and tomato is a safe option, but the way it’s blended together is the stuff of fantasies.

Everyone dreams of a perfect love story, boy meets girl, or some would argue girl meets girl or boy meets boy … but no, the most perfect love story is you and Asda pizza. In a 14 inch diameter, arguably there’s a lot of space to work with.

If you don’t know how to use the size, it could be 20 inch and still not taste to perfection. There are meat options available too such as chicken pizza, but it’s the cheese and tomato that’s the flagship.

There was us thinking Asda is a supermarket, they can’t do such delicious tasting pizza, but who would have thought this very same supermarket would now sell mobile phones and a decent pair of jeans.

Texture perfect, dough perfect, base perfect and nicely drizzled with oil on top of the cheese and tomato, my God, please make lockdown end, coz I need Asda pizza! Don’t just take my word for it, try it yourself and you too will be amazed.

At just £7 for six 14 inch slices, tops it all off.

So, is there always space for dessert?

Hello and greetings my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag bearers of all beards on digital and digital broadcasting media. I am that beard who tries to make people laugh, and I am that beard who tries to make people smile.

My beloved brothers, I want to and need to talk about an important topic, that’s in turn caused quite a discussion. That brothers,is the issue of “is there always space for dessert?”. In short, yes there is (it’s been scientifically proven).

But with such a debate, the full side of the argument needs to be heard. One side of the argument, is that enjoy your starters and mains, and leave that as that. There’s a time for desserts, but that’s a bit more of on a special occasion.

The other side of the argument, is that a dessert is the perfect was to sign off a delicious meal. For example, you can not go into Nawabs, enjoy their starters and mains, and not sign the meal off with a dessert. That’s the headline performance for the evening (the desserts counter).

I am too full, just doesn’t cut it. If somehow (although it’s in the mindset) you are legitimately too full, then you need to change your strategy. It’s an unwritten rule, you can not have starters and mains only. in many Eastern cultures and traditions, a dessert is always served after dinner time.

The dessert is seen as almost a limb of the dinner, they are connected to each other. As much, as I love desserts, my beards it’s not possible to solely have a dessert mains course. What I mean, is that you have to have a mains course and a dessert, not just the dessert.

As savoury as a dessert is, that’s directing yourself to diabetes avenue if you have a dessert on your own. Brothers, honor your beards, the way they deserve to be honoured. My soldiers, be consistent in your cause for the love of beard.

Brothers, be dedicated in showing good love to the dessert, which includes chocolate cake and all the other cakes out there. It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain, stay blessed stay beard!