If you do this, we need to talk

Hello and good evening my beaded soldiers. It’s me your Bearded Captain leader of all beds and flag bearer of all beards on digital media.

I am that Bearded who tries to make people laugh and I am happy to try to make people smile. My Bearded Beloved’s what I wanted to talk about today was this.

My Bearded Brothers issue I want to talk about is the issue of certain things that people do which really make me question their thinking.

I know Brother that now has perked your interest as to what the Captain is talking about.

Let me explain brothers with a few examples. So brothers he or even she Who eats pizza with a knife and fork I mean come on really?

Just on which planet do you have pizza with a knife and fork? Pizza is made to be eaten with your hands So again talking of fork people have A slice of cake with a fork.

Again what is wrong with you people for every normal individual they have cake with a spoon and a teaspoon at that!

A mention needs to be made about people who also use knife and fork for eating chicken. Again, just no!

Other examples of psychopathic behaviour and alarming behaviour is people wearing socks and sandals and people wearing socks with three-quarter shorts.

And on top of all that, you get people who dip their digestives . Which leads to the question once it inevitably relents under the pressure of the coffee and crumbles into the coffee mug what do you do?

Do you use a spoon to pick up the biscuits? or do you risk burning as you try and put your hand into the coffee mug to retrieve the wounded soldier that is the digestive biscuit?

The answer? is to not have your digestives going for a swim in your coffee in the first place!

Like normal civilised human beings have your coffee have you biscuit but they don’t mix like they say don’t mix your drinks don’t mix food with your beverage.

Are there any that I’ve missed out? let me know in the comments. For this evening though it is over and out from your Bearded Captain.

Stay blessed stay Beard!


Published by ayyazmalik

Hi guys thanks for having a look at my blog :) . Just to state the obvious my name is Ayyaz Malik. I love writing articles, it's been a passion since I have been a 'wee nipper'. To share a little bit about myself I am training to be a cricket umpire (yay!) and I work for the Asian Sunday :) which is a up and coming paper in Bradford. ayyazmalik.com is my way of sharing with you my view on sports world and world in general.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: