Asian medical myths (Satire)

Hello, and greetings my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag-bearer of all beards on digital and digital broadcasting media. I am that beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that beard who tries to make people smile. My Bearded Beloved’s I pray you’re looking after yourselves and your beards! I want to talk about an important issue in the world of The Bearded Captain.

Brothers, the issue is the issue of an upset stomach. The pain and the discomfort of a stomach upset is something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy (anyone who’s is clean-shaven). The feeling is numbing for your stomach and it feels like there’s a mini volcano erupting in your stomach. Burgers, pizza, kebabs are food delights, but they’re just figments of imagination when you have an unhappy tum.

Trips to the gents or the ladies is a norm and whatever you eat, your system essentially says no thank you, lets deposit that because we don’t like it. Your energy drains and all you feel like doing is sitting down or maybe even lying down grabbing your stomach praying for the pain to go. As good as a prayer is, a prayer never hurt anyone, a physical act rather than a spiritual act is suggested to help give your tummy pain the heave-ho when all you hear is your stomach saying no.

This suggestion is prevalent in the Asian community. What is the suggestion I hear you ask? A glass of 7Up/Sprite. Many times I had stomach upset on my recently concluded trip to Pakistan and the solution in the Asian’s eyes was a glass of Sprite, but it’s transpired that this isn’t effective and is rather a myth. When I first came across this, I was surprised, but at the same time not shocked either as this is the same community that believes that Paracetamol cures everything.

Headache, toothache, backache and tensions in the world … of course over exaggerating now, but you get my drift. Dr Malik isn’t going to suggest what to do and not to when your tum feels glum, but maybe a nice crisp glass of water will do it!

It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.

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Published by ayyazmalik

Hi guys thanks for having a look at my blog :) . Just to state the obvious my name is Ayyaz Malik. I love writing articles, it's been a passion since I have been a 'wee nipper'. To share a little bit about myself I am training to be a cricket umpire (yay!) and I work for the Asian Sunday :) which is a up and coming paper in Bradford. is my way of sharing with you my view on sports world and world in general.

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