Hello and Greetings my Bearded Super Heroes, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all Beards and flag bearer of all Beards on digital and digital broadcasting media, I am that Beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that Beard who tries to make people smile.
Brothers, I pray you’re well, looking after yourselves and your Beards! My Soldiers, we need to talk. My beloved’s just want to remind you of what you already know, you’re awesome and amazing, I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
You may not be on the front cover of a Marvel Comic, or starring as one of the super heroes in the blockbuster films. Batman you are not, you’re much stronger than him (you have the will to not shave unlike him) and you’re not like Superman, you can see shaving is for women and a waste of time.
Superman can see everything bar that. Spiderman, well he got himself into a web, by designed to use the Gillette to glide through his face, when gliding through the city with his web rope wasn’t good enough.
Well my Beards, we know what we would do, if we had the choice. Talking of choice, growing a beard is a choice, a good choice the best choice, but a choice never the less. One set of our brothers, the brothers from The Far East make that choice to keep a Beard.
So what? Bo hoo, I hear you mention my darlings. If I tell you that Asian’s (from the Subcontinent) grow their facial hair like Werewolves, you will nod in agreeance. So when I mention our brothers from China, Korea, Vietnam, Hong Kong or Japan for example, then know their beards (quite a few of them) don’t grow like other beards.
Similar to some of our Afro Caribbean brothers ( brothers from Nigeria, Ghana, South Africa, Egypt Lebanon and many more no doubt) , their beards don’t grow fully from the sides and they don’t get much facial hair growth from under the chin either. This would be so easy to just say you know what, I can’t grow a beard I will shave it off, but to their credit they keep their Beards.
So those of you who keep Goatees or even shave your beards when you can fully grow yours on the sides, just think for a minute – think about the brothers who would give their right arm for being able to grow a beard (that’s metaphorical we’re not insinuating anyone to go limbless).
So with out inadvertently sounding like a UNICEF advert, brothers think, please don’t shave, by not shaving you will be releasing your inner man. In a world that has 99 genders and a man appearing day by day to be not even one, then for the sake of your masculinity put the blade down!
Shaving is for he who is balding (me) and for your hairs in the where the sun doesn’t shine areas.
It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.