Hello, good evening my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all Beards and flag bearer of all Beards on digital and digital broadcasting media. I am that Beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that Beard who tries to make people smile.
Brothers, I want to talk about an issue that’s important in the life of The Bearded Captain, paracetamol. The Asians will know that it’s seen as the cure for everything, yes EVERYTHING. Here though I am not here to tell that tale, I want to talk about the day I conquered swallowing one.
I don’t know if the tubs or the packets come with instruction manuals, but maybe they need to. When I was small and I would need to take the dreaded paracetamol, it used to be a challenge. Drink water and put the paracetamol in your mouth, then it would just go down the food pipe.
Easy enough, no problem, but except there was. The paracetamol seemed more stubborn than a child being taken for a bath. That son of a gun, would not go down without kicking and screaming. So after having one glass of water and gulping the tablet down, it would quickly turn into two.
That tablet at this point is drenched like it’s walked out during a monsoon season, but you guessed it, still won’t go down my throat. This paracetamol was like Gandalf (thou shall not pass). In the end, I opted to bite it. Did that solve the problem? No sir, only made it umpteen times worse due to how sour or bitter they are!
All the mouthwash and toothpaste couldn’t rid me of the horrible aftertaste. So when I had headaches, what did I do? Well, I endured it and would have a nice hot shower or go to sleep early.
That was fine, but the inner whisperings wanted me to take on my nemesis, paracetamol. You tablet, you won the battle, but not the war! The chance arose for me to walk the walk and show the paracetamol tablet I meant business.
So, I poured the glass of water, peeled open the back of the packet of paracetamol and grabbed two out. Only a psycho takes out one, the same way someone puts up the TV volume in odd numbers.
Nervous, I grabbed the two tablets and into my mouth they went and off the pallet of my mouth they bounced. This was it, all or nothing it was time to take this tablet down! I grabbed my water, and I had one gulp of water, it was still there!
Not to be deterred, I drank another gulp and to my surprise, this immovable object was conquered. Not quite a David and Goliath moment, but it didn’t stop me from celebrating. When I told my dad with the glee of my monumental achievement, dad reacted in only dad knew how.
He was grounded in his praise, but I am sure he would have been proud deep down. From learning to walk, talk, eat and now this. Dad would have been patting himself on the back as a parent, he’s made it. I made it as a man.
On that note, it’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.
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