For a man with a beard and someone who really takes pride in his facial hair, naturally, I will rebuke the “slogan” “Gillette, the best a man can get”. Not only is the phrase non-sensical, it’s “not true”.
Now why I say this is simple, I say this because with the greatest respect (my blog is my own opinion I must add as well),but come on guys a guy who doesn’t have a beard doesn’t look too dissimilar to a woman,well in the case of some men anyway.
Yes, there’s men like Christiano Ronaldo, who some see as the ultimate man, but anyway back to my original point. Nature intended for a man to let his beard grow, global corporations brought in the razor blade…. fact!
For the men amongst us, like myself I am sure you are not “too fussy”. Well, I know I am not anyway. I am a guy who has a shaved head and a beard and always like to dress, smart casual.
Yes, these days I have slightly changed that (my fashion sense) with the purchase of my trilby (my pride and joy) but one thing that hasn’t changed is my love for the chicken burger. The chicken burger is arguably the best gift to mankind.
Why do I say such a thing? Well, the reason is simple soft bread with the most succulent pieces of chicken sandwiched in between, is one of the best to come on planet earth.
The chicken burger has many “imitations”. Chicken Cottage, Chunky Chicken, KFC or Kansas are decent burgers, but boys take a step back and make way for the “true king” in the chicken burger department … Dixy Chicken!
With a waistline which proves my knowledge of the chicken burger, arguably I am a historian in the field. I also call myself a connoisseur in the field or as the cool kids call it burger fiend.
Whereas some settle for burger mediocrity, me sir ….. no way! You are not pulling the wool over my eyes. Let’s all take a minute and give Dixy a standing salute *literally stands up and salutes*.
Why such overboard praise I hear you say, let me tell you the story of how my love affair with that fine piece of meat started. I was young, slim and recently became single at the time.
Sad at this fact, I turned to my local Dixy Chicken in Chorlton Manchester,for comfort. I had spent a week long “dedicated mission” of having burgers from a burgerland called Hardys and from the farm of McDonaldsville where meaty chicken burgers were served.
This holy land of burgers (Ajman) was crucial in my early struggle of my study of the Chicken burger.
“She” ( the mega mix burger meal) was caring and very welcoming as I took my quest and resarch to “Dixyville.I opened her box, The moment was special, even if there were pervs looking at mine and the chicken burgers unadulterated love.
Mega Mix, just made me want more. It was “her” beautiful texture of chicken meat that had my heart racing. I felt like a teenager seeing his first crush all over again. Dixy was obviously happy to see me too, “she” really made an effort for me. If that’s not love I don’t know what is, there were no complications.
No small talk was needed, just pure me eating “her baps” and enjoying the mayo that was wrapped in the burger. Now for the perfect burger, one must have it at the right temperature, it’s only fitting for such.
Not too crunchy and not too salty, the boys at Dixy deserve some epic high fives. That isn’t all that makes their chicken as Magnifique as it is. For good chicken, it has to be the right colour as well.
Too greasy and too “masala” like are an absolute no-no. Devouring the taste of the burger on your fingers is one thing, but to have the masala run over your fingers is absolutely another and a big red flag!
You’re probably thinking, this doesn’t prove (my study). But this is a scientific study, that isn’t based on logic, facts or even stats. The equation is simple, megamix burger, plus a portion of chips and cup of Pepsi = a very happy young man indeed.
As this is a delicate study and will arguably take years to fully understand it’s magnificence, I will be “self-sacrificing myself” to carry on with my goal of studying the chicken burger universe and eating more when I can.
All that is left now is for a grant from a top university, to aid me in my “selfless work” of the study of the chicken burger. Guys someone has got to do it and yours truly Mr Bearded Prince (Professor Dixy Chicken Lover) will “sacrifice” himself xx.
PS, a special mention must go to Roosters in Altrincham, but sorry fellas you are no Dixy Chicken Chorlton. My selfless burger eating research is an ongoing struggle, but I am willing to “take one for the team”.
No, I insist it’s ok guys, really it’s ok.
The Bearded Captain 