Hello and good evening my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag bearer of all beards, on digital and digital broadcasting media. I am that beard who tries to make people laugh and the beard who tries to make people smile.
Brothers, we need to talk … I know it’s been a minute. My beloved’s your Captain enjoyed post Ramadan a bit too much. I want to reassure you, I will never forget the fans (all 2 and a half of you).
Your support means a lot, it really does. Brothers, I am still that bald headed, beard obsessed football loving and food loving (chicken burgers) Captain. Sadly I have the belly to prove it! I have been hitting the situps in the gym and the steps machine too! But this belly has grown a close attachment to The Captain.
For God sakes, just leave man! You have had your fun! Thing is guys, at times I am my worst enemy and what I am going to say next, you will know why. Brothers, it’s time for another food review.
This food review is of Pizza Uno, a little take away situated out in little old Wythenshawe, Greater Manchester. How’s this for irony …. I have never tasted the Pizza in this shop! But I want to talk to you about the food that I have tasted there.
I have been able to taste the Donner barm, chicken burger and beef burger. Now my golden rule with chicken burgers still exist (don’t eat them from a non chicken specialist takeaway). My soldiers, the rule in short still applies here.
Now, I am not sure if this is a set batch of chickens that these independent takeaways order, but they all taste like the plastic cardboard processed stuff. The actual fillet of the chicken too is like rubber. Maybe this is the equivalent of when a dog chew on a rubber toy.
With Pizza Uno and their chicken, let’s not be too harsh. No, it wasn’t Miami style chicken (review on them fully soon), but it wasn’t the awful dross that I have tasted in non chicken specialist takeaways.
This will always be my gripe, but takeaways can never rival chicken takeaways when it comes to chicken. Pizza Uno valiantly tried and valiantly failed.
Remember kids, the Jack of all trades, is usually the master of none. Again in Pizza Uno’s it should be mentioned that the beef burger served up was nice succulent, juicy and tasty meat. It wasn’t too chewy, but in fact it was soft.
The burger and the patty was firm enough to appreciate the succulent taste and appreciate the juices that were flowing through the burger. I have tasted too soft beef burgers, that was more bordering on undercooked.
It’s one of the better beef burgers I have tasted, Chester yeah that’s including your beef burger in the list too.
So, so far it’s a 50/50. A hit for the beef burger and the miss for the chicken burger. If you didn’t know of any chicken takeaways and have come from Bedrock, then yeah places like pizza Uno, can be the chicken takeaway for you.
For the rest of us chicken connoisseurs, go to Miami! Now, to bring up the rear is the donner barm! The Donner barm is a hungover food special. The legend has it that this is the food after the average Joe has, once he is on his way home from the pub.
Pizza Uno’s version of it? Well very good actually. My waistline puts testament to it, but yes I have had many Donner kebabs. In a barm, naan bread and with chips for good measure too. The Donner and Chips I argue is the Ant and Dec of all Donner dishes, what I mean is they don’t look right apart from each other.
Having said that, the Donner barm and Pizza Uno’s interpretation of it is brilliant. Key tips for a good Donner meat. It has to have good juice (can’t be dry), needs to be tender meat (not rubbery, needs a slight bit of grease – but not too much and it has to be the right temperature when served.
Pizza Uno ticks the boxes for that. So there you have it, if you’re ever in town, maybe as you’re parting take a stop at Pizza Uno. Since it’s called Pizza, it would be a good idea to try their pizzas too.
It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.
The Bearded Captain 