Hello, greetings from your Bearded Captain. Before I was appointed (or self-appointed) as The Bearded Captain, life was very sad *sad face*. I before my new fancy title was known as Ayyaz Malik, a man who was epic, but didn’t believe the hype of his own magnificence with a beard, hence why I didn’t have one.
I have grown up to become quite the man alhamdulillah and with The All Mighty’s help, quite the beard too. Big,thick and with ginger strands …. ladies please I am reserved for the special one.
Sorry to be such the heartthrob and heartbreaker, but it’s the perils of having facial hair I guess. Just a polite note to you fellas who might be reading this post, please note you can be just as magnificent as me (alhamdulillah).
It’s not really a secret, nope nothing like the Colonel’s secret in what he puts in the KFC chicken scale of secret, no sir ….. not at all! This young man is something quite simple, grow a beard!
I can’t, I hear some of you say – No, don’t worry at least don’t use the razor, this is for “women”. A man’s face is magnificent (Allah Huma Barik) of course it is, it’s created by the all mighty, let nature take its path.
Fella’s let me let you into the magic of growing some “facial fur”. It keeps you warm, it’s like a napkin (it catches your food) and most obviously it makes you a babe magnet. Another thing, you can have the chance of an extra 15-20 minutes lie in because you’re not shaving, o yes!
So let me tell you of my journey in growing a beard, it was nothing too special, but something I feel I should share. It was a cold miserable night and my stubble was a week old. Fed up of the teppie Jaw Lines and looking like “Shaz or Immy” from Bradford, I felt “Na Bro” I’m a banda innit.
Not liking shaving from the start, I said “sod this” enough is enough! It’s time to grow up and embrace the inner man. Scared how people will react, I threw caution to the wind and morphed into this magnificent specimen that is me (Ayyaz Malik ,The Bearded Captain).
All my life, I was shy in front of the boys and girls, but with my new found friend (my beard) I had to readjust my mindset and deal with the newly found female attention. They would laugh and giggle, I felt like a rock star – except I don’t do the sex, drugs + rock and roll.
To couple with my beard, my humour grew on people too …. it was like my beard mesmerised people and made them up for a laugh. Everything I touched turned to gold, Alhamdulillah.
It can be distracting to fend off so many people who love you coz of your new found fame (your beard), but it’s good for the “man pride”. Ladies if you’re jealous of the man fur, I am afraid you can’t grow it like we can, although some try their best.
The Bearded Captain leaves you with this last piece of advice. Growing a beard teaches you a few life skills. How to be awesome, magnificent and most of all patient (for the married men, due to praying women being mesmerised by the handsomeness of your face mashaaAllah).
My beard and I love you and leave you, bearded fellas don’t forget your comb. The comb is your new life long companion! It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.