By Ayyaz “The Bearded Captain” Malik
Hello and good greetings from The Bearded Captain. Good afternoon my bearded soldiers, I pray we are well, in the middle of maintaining our beards and in these unprecedented times, looking after our health.
Just like in other addresses, I will again use this chance, to express my thanks to NHS staff, from Dr’s, nurses and to other staff who work for the health service. Thank you for your efforts to look after the old and vulnerable where at times you can’t look after your own old and vulnerable.
My beloved’s I reach out to you today because I want to tell a story. I hope this tale brings a smile to your face. As I type this out, it brings a wry smile to my face just thinking about it.
The story is a short one, but yeah anyway. One morning, after waking up and having my bearded breakfast (two eggs, two toast with no butter and a glass of orange juice), I decided to check the post.
Now, as you know the post usually consists of bills and “junk” (but unfortunately no blank cheques). In the case of this story, it would be “junk mail” that came in the post I want to talk about.
What came in the post, was a little leaflet from Harry’s. Yes, that’s right Harry’s the shaving guys who make themselves out to be so ethical people.
But are the same people who promote the cutting of your face and to go out against father nature in this instant and shave their beards (you see what I did there, I got your back guys).
Whoever was on their marketing team and thought this was a good idea to send a leaflet to the house which has three fully bearded men in there is hilarious.
Maybe, they were trying to encourage The Captain to shave his head all those months before he eventually started using a razor to shave his head, who knows.
One thing I do know, when I saw the leaflet, it really made me laugh. Telling this story, I thought it could make you laugh too.