Hello, good evening my Bearded Beloved’s, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all Beards, flag bearer of all Beards on digital and digital and digital broadcasting media. I am that Beard who tries to make people laugh, and I am that Beard who tries to make people smile.

Bearded Kings, I pray you’re well, looking after yourselves and your Beards! My Bearded Soldiers we need to talk about an issue that’s important to The Bearded Captain. That issue Ladies and Gentle Beards is three things that start quickly but finish slowly.

Shall I elaborate Brothers? The first example of this is perfume. Let me set the scene, if I may. So when you open the perfume bottle, you’re weary for the bottle to not go down. To one’s horror, out of nowhere, the perfume is halfway down the bottle.

Perfume lovers I do get the Eau Du Parfum, but I am one of those who swims in perfume, the ones where you can smell their perfume from a mile off. With that said, when the bottle goes down and down and then down some more, the end of the bottle puts up a firm resistance!

That’s a good thing and a bad thing too. It makes me wonder, just why are you putting up your resistance now!? The second thing on this list is that of a mobile phone battery. Just like with the perfume, it drops like a stone and you’re next to 0% in no time, but to finish your battery, there’s a resistance.

Just like with the perfume, why couldn’t you have been like this at the start? Many a time, I have squirted the perfume on my hair (which doesn’t have too much left), also my Beard and as a room freshener.

After a lot of squirts and I mean a lot, only then does it finish. For the third and final example, I was thinking of taps and shower heads for being difficult to turn off, but it’s not quite in the spirit of what we’re talking about.

The last example, I can think of then, is milk. Whether it be the four-pint or the six, one thing is the same, it starts quickly and finishes slowly. When I say slowly, I mean to finish the bottle off, of every last drop.

How on God’s earth does that drop appear you wonder? You’re holding the milk bottle like you’re on the mic like you’re an MC spitting the beat, the bottle’s that high. You drink and after much effort and much drinking, the bottle has no drops in it.

So, Bearded Aficionado that’s my list of three things that start quickly but end slowly. Do you agree with my list? Do let us know in the comments

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