Hello, greetings. It’s me, your Bearded Captain, leader of all Beards, and Flag Bearer of all Beards on digital broadcasting media. I am that Beard who tries to make people laugh and smile. 

My Bearded Beloveds, we need to talk about an important issue in the life of a Bearded Man: ‘The Cow’s Lick Beard’. Brothers, as you know, I consider myself a Bearded Aficionado. 

But even I never thought I would have talked about this topic. Anywho, we comb. It’s as literal as it sounds, Brothers. My Beard has been (by the force of nature) moved to one side. 

When I wake up, my Beard is disproportionate. It looks like it’s in the middle of a Mexican Wave, and I got bored halfway through. It’s a recent phenomenon, but the solution is simple. 
Some Bull Dog Beard Balm is just the ticket. If you have the one I have, it will be slightly fragranced, too. In times like this, I wish I had a brand deal with Bull Dog. 

A message for the marketing team at Bull Dog UK: get at your Captain! 

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