Hello, good evening, my Bearded Kings, I hope you’re well, looking after yourselves and are in good health. Brothers, I hope you’re well, looking after yourselves and your Beards! Bearded Stallions we need to talk, we need to talk about Lad Bible.

For those of you who don’t know who they are, they’re a publication in Manchester, the best city on earth. Famed for writing about quirky bits of ladness in recent times, they have broadened their topics.

Good, bad or not bothered, is naturally a conclusion you will come to all by yourself. As far as yours truly is concerned, humbly, I am glad they brought this topic up.

A good way to return to my Bearded Summit and make an address. I know you might have been growing restless and mistaking me for an imposter. Brothers, no simple way to say this, my laptop of 11 years had cracked it’s screen.

I then bought a new one, which decided to swim in a cup of coffee. The two don’t mix, the way milk and cola don’t mix. So that meant for several months I was laptopless.

Err, herm, one word (dirty bugger). Thank God now, though (Alhamdulillah), we’re back working off a monitor. My ruling on this is that, how a Beard can straighten his Beard, he can perm it.

Beard presentation is everything.

There are a few buts, Bearded One, don’t make this a fashion thing. Beards are for life and not for one Cat Walk, but rather for many Cat Walks. You need your Beard always , your Beard doesn’t need you.

That age old saying goes, a Beard is for life and not just for winter.

As mentioned, if you don’t give Beard its props, it will jump on a face where it’s wanted. I hear you, my Afro-Caribbean brothers and brothers from the Far-East.

Your Beards are permed naturally you can say. O nearly forgot my North African and Arab bros.

One other thing of note, just be wary when it comes to eating, your Beard perms might catch your food? I will leave you with that thought. It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.