Hello and good morning, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all Beards and flag bearer of all Beards on digital and digital broadcasting media, I am that Beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that Beard who tries to make people smile.
Brothers, I pray you’re well, looking after yourselves and looking after your Beards! My soldiers, we need to talk it’s about pineapples. I am sure there are some amongst you who have pineapples, that’s bad but what’s even worse!?
What’s even worse is that you have it on pizza. The pizza, is a beautiful and delightful food that’s come from the shores of Italy. The fella, (I am sure of it) didn’t swim or take boat (which was more likely in them days) to show England, UK the pizza dish and allow pineapples to be put on them!
This is yobbish behaviour. What can be put on pizza’s are mushrooms, peppers, sweetcorn, onion and jalapeno, that’s just to name some. I am sure you noticed on that list there’s no pineapples. Pineapples? The best place for them is in Lilt drink, totally tropical indeed!
Brothers, you know I love you, but fellas pineapples on pizzas? No, just no same goes with tuna on pizza too. What is allowed on pizzas are other meats, your chicken, beef and donner meat. Yes, it’s a thing.
It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.
The Bearded Captain 