Hello and good morning my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards and flag bearer of all beards on digital and digital broadcast media.
I am that beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that Beard who tries to make people smile. Brothers, we need to talk about an important issue .. socks. Socks come in many shapes and sizes and in my styles too.
Ankle socks, knee length socks, elastic and non elastic. Socks arguably say a lot about you. Ankle socks, well that tends to show that you’re a sporty person and white sports socks could say that you have been or would have aspired to be on Jeremy Kyle.
White socks isn’t the socks of a more respectable man in theory. You would tend to white socks when you were a kid, rebelliously walk around in white socks with no slippers on etc. Talking of socks and slippers, this is another kind of socks wearer.
This kind of socks wearer is one, I am not saying is, but is someone who looks like he has WI-FI and sweets in the back of his van that has no windows (if you know what I mean). In other words, it’s the person who has Werther Originals and gives it to kids.
There’s the person who has animations, characters or catchy slogans on his/hers socks. He/she who has this, in my opinion is seen as someone who has a sharp whitt and a good sense of humour, it’s essentially the people who wear t-shirts with slogans on them, they’re cool people right?
Then you get the one’s who wear black cotton socks. Now these guys, tend to be boring people, the ones who like to play it safe and probably watch Countdown during weekdays. Not all, but I wouldn’t be surprised if I am right on this one.
The plain black cotton socks wearers could even be ones who go to book clubs, like to talk about the kind of cheese in the world and talk about wine as if they know what they’re talking about. “I recommend you should try, blu blaa blaaaaa”.
Eric and Margaret, give it a rest lol! A mention also needs to be made of the ones who wear mutli-coloured stripey socks, these guys are not too dissimilar to the ones who have character socks. As bright socks, makes you stand out … that too tends to be a reflection on their behaviour, they’re not afraid to stand out.
Last person, on the list of socks wearers … it’s actually the people who don’t wear socks. With loafers and boat shoes I think they call them, the social convention is that you don’t actually wear socks.
I have a friend who was mocked for not wearing socks, but actually in fact he is a pioneer of the no socks movement. You sir were the trail blazer, but no one even knew it! There is one thing with socks when you wear them, get the wrong ones and they leave prints in your skin.
To counteract that, some don’t wear socks. What I The Bearded Captain advise is that, get non elastic socks. In the winter you don’t want cold feet! When you don’t wear socks your feet can get sweaty, take care guys x,
So that’s my thoughts on socks. Some of you might wonder, why all this fuss over socks? Well someone who did make a fuss over socks was The Bearded General, he sold them for a living before he retired!