Hello and Greetings my Bearded Soldiers, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all beards, flag bearer of all Beards on digital and digital media, I am that Beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that Beard who tries to make people smile.
My Bearded Stallions, I pray you’re well, looking after yourselves and your Beards! Brothers, I want to talk about an important issue and that is the issue of Asian dramas, nay Pakistan dramas. Actually, nay is a word used in ‘the Motherland’, it means no .
Where do I start my Soldiers. First thing, I have to say is that a lot of the stories in those dramas, involve the following plots. Man loves girl, who loves other man, girl loves man who loves her and other girl.
Girl likes man – breaks up man from girl to muscle in to be his girl.
Did you get that? I am saying, that a lot of is love story related and also the man marrying a second wife and the first wife going into a complete meltdown. If that’s not the main plot, then surely it’s the wife coming into the husbands house and well it ends up in verbals with her mother in-law.
A lot of verbal sparring ensues, verbal sparring that Dwayne The Rock Johnson would be proud of and then the mother in-law or the daughter in-law ends up apologizing come the end of the drama that’s usually of a duration of just the 75 episodes if it’s quick.
The length of the drama is usually one hour, including the never ending compensation claims adverts or ‘peer saab’ claiming to work miracles, yet that very same peer saab wouldn’t recognise me if I was to call him. Quite the miracle worker? Clearly not if he doesn’t who would be calling him.
We can’t forget to mention half of the episode is in their version of English and a recap of the last episode, even though the episode starts with a recap.
If I wanted to watch Emerdale or Corrie, I would have done! They speak English for no reason to the story.
To add to the Pakistani drama checklist, I mean that each drama will contain any of these subplots. A boy wants to marry a girl, but parents say no, or vice versa. A mother in-law, aunt or uncle are pure evil to a niece, nephew or their own flesh and blood.
Add also in that check list, is that they love to destroy a lot of crockery and kitchen utensils shall we say. If you don’t want them, I know a guy who will, just stop with the breakages please! Same goes with the aftershave and perfume bottles.
I would personally take them off your hands, if you don’t want, I never say no to chocolate or perfume! Probably 99% of them are set in Karachi and also note that the person who has been wronged always gets justice.
The one who wrongs, either apologies or gets wronged themselves, yes that does sound a lot like a Dhar Mann video. There is one good thing about Pakistani dramas brothers, a lot of the actors are keeping short beards.
I know, it’s a short beard, but it’s a start. In the English dramas, the storylines vary, but most of the actors are clean shaven. With the Asian dramas, they try to teach the viewer life lessons, where as English dramas leaves you wondering will Grant Mitchell rise from the dead again?
Ross Kemp, who plays Grant Mitchell, is like The Undertaker, (whose character never dies). In Pakistani dramas, they always show the rich and poor divide and how differently poor people are treated to the rich and how arrogant the rich are.
One of the last things, and yes this is probably the most annoying is how there will one family in the drama who will say ‘hello mom, good morning’. Man! You’re not American, nor do you sound like it either.
Also, why do they have such a massive spread for two people!? Find it infuriating! PS, someone will have a business, work in an office or be involved in Politics. Brothers, you’re welcome. Whether it be Asian, English or Scottish dramas, if you watch them long enough, you get hooked!
Damn it! It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.