Hello, good afternoon my Bearded Beloved’s, it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all Beards, flag bearer of all Beards on digital broadcasting media, I am that Beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that Beard who tries to make people smile.
Shining Bearded Knights, I pray you’re well, looking after yourselves and your Beards! My Soldiers, we need to talk, we need to talk about pain! Brothers to be more precise, we need to talk about when you feel pain with things, you don’t think you should.
So, to give you an example, when you hit your small toe on … well anything. It’s little and you think, it should not able to have to feel pain, but it some how by a force of unexplained nature, attracted to things like sofas, the bottom of doors and what have you.
You have an idea where I am going with this, so in that spirit, waxing the cheeks when you line your Beard up . That shouldn’t hurt, but why does it feel like I someone is literally trying to scrape your face off? Can’t forget the time when I cheated on my normal Beard Barber and went to another one, as he was ‘convenient’.
I suffered harsh consequences as a result. In what is already a painful experience (having cheeks waxed, something which made Father Malik’s eyes water), this guy made it worse by not properly applying the wax strip!
O, threading is worse, but amazingly The Bearded General (Father Malik) can take that but not waxing! I imagine, leg waxing must be the same. the clean shaven and women (yeah I just said clean shaven) can relate too.
So Brothers, what about ‘the funny elbow’? I mean are you literally kidding me!? My elbow has the most dullest pain and some bright spark Dr, thought ok, let’s call it ‘the funny bone’. My elbow doesn’t tell puns or knock knock jokes, thank you very much!
As mentioned in the last blog, the shaving cut is another pain, that hurts but shouldn’t hurt that much. To add to the affect, blood streams out when you get a shaving cut. Some after shave, numbs the pain, but it doesn’t half make a song and dance when it does it.
The last example, that I can think of is when you get your finger burnt on a hot pan. Why o why does that hurt so much? Lol, one of life’s many mysteries. It’s like why shave when you can grow your Beard and look like a lion.
Jason Mamoa (Bearded Heart Throb) is only that way due to his Beard, Roman Reigns (WWE Wrestler) same thing. If both were to ditch their man fur, they would both look like Hench women, (I said what I said).
Talking of easing pain from shaving cuts, we, Brothers are in partnership with Fragrance one. So, for all your perfumes (men and women) they have you covered! On top of that, they have a massive scented candles range too!
Hey! You can use my code F308IL5PI at checkout to get 30% off your entire purchase at Fragrance One! fragrance.one
It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain.
The Bearded Captain 