Hello, and greetings my Bearded Beloved’s, my non-Bearded Soldiers (women), it’s me your Bearded Captain, leader of all Beards, flag bearer of all Beards on digital and digital broadcasting media. I am that Beard who tries to make people laugh and I am that Beard who tries to make people smile.
Bearded Kings, I hope you’re well, you’re looking after yourselves and your Beards. My Bearded Knights in shining armour. It’s been over many years since we have done these Bearded Addresses, whether that be in this blog or through videos.
One thing we haven’t spoken about though brothers is the true story of how I The Bearded Captain have never bought a Bearded Product in my life. I would love to say this was due to Bulldog finally letting me be their brand ambassador, but no it wasn’t.
I will talk about that later, but I am working with some new brands that has made me forget all about that. Brothers, I have been in employment for the best part of 10 years and when you’re in an office role or any other role, activities such as Secret Santa take place, a ritual where gifts are given in secret.
The secret to Santa is that the only one I believe used to score goals for fun at football club Blackburn Rovers, the Santa Cruz variety of Santa. Santa Claus is a myth and to make it worse, people wear fake Beards!
Bearded Diamonds, a Beard isn’t portable, it’s for life! If you earn your stripes and tell terrible jokes as I do and tell the masses of your love for Beards, they too will get you Bearded Gifts. Bearded Shampoo, Beard Oil, Beard Balm, and Beard Comb are also Bearded Items that I have been gifted.
I have unintentionally done a clickbait, I have remembered that I did buy one Beard Comb, that had The Bearded Captain personalised on it. One item bought out of some seven years of being The Bearded Captain, I will take that!
It’s over and out from The Bearded Captain, peace!
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Nothing is quite as powerful as laughter/entertainment is. Thank you.